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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

How to commit suicide with a gun

Suicide by gun is such a rampant epidemic among right-wing Sailer type white males. Whether they are in hopeless financial distress, need a way out of their miserable families, resort to their savage instincts to viciously kill, or face a hopeless midlife crisis and want to end their hopeless lives, murder and suicide will be around.

Suicide is such a sensitive topic which no one really knows how to discuss, especially the topic on how to properly commit suicide. I am not a right-wing maniac and this is not an endorsement for suicide. In fact, I keep telling everyone the best way to avoid the fate of suicide is to stay far away from right-wing racists like Steve Sailer and Rush Limbaugh, and thus avoid the depression, hatred, and hopelessness that comes with following their ideals.

However, since so many crazy Sailer type white males will inevitably follow their genetic inclination to commit murder and/or suicide instead of listening to my advice of avoiding them, it only makes sense to provide them the proper instructions on this topic, because if your suicide attempt goes wrong, here are the consequences.


1) You savagely murder other people with the gun, but when it comes time to pull the trigger on yourself, you get cold feet. Now you are alive with a vicious murder case, you will spend the rest of your life in prison or a mental asylum, face the death penalty, or face retaliation.

Before and after pictures of the serial murderer
White Family Values: Family murder in Iowa


2) You shoot yourself with the gun, but the gun doesn't kill you because you didn't know the right way to do it. Instead, you survive with vicious and permanent brain and body damage, and you go to prison or a mental asylum for life as in case 1.

UPDATE: Survivor of Hueytown Murder-Suicide in Critical Condition


HUEYTOWN, Ala. --- Hueytown Police released the identities of the three shooting victims in this morning’s murder suicide that triggered a three hour standoff.

Chief Chuck Hagler said 25 year old Fuzell Morton shot and killed 39 year old Shelia Howard and also shot 22 year old Jimyshia Howard before Morton apparently turned the gun on himself and committed suicide.

Howard was transported to UAB hospital with a gunshot wound to the head and remains in critical condition.


Well, here it is. How to commit suicide with a gun. From http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-42442.html


Use a Heavyier caliber pistol with a hollow point round and stick the gun facing upwards down your throat. Alot of times people surive suicide attempts by sticking the gun to the side of their head. The bullet ends up going through the ear or something and you wont die instantaneously or at all. You can also use a shotgun, that is sure to get the job done. Or use two guns. Stick one down your throat, one to the side up the head and fire at the same time, using hollow point bullets up course.

I know a guy that got shot a point black range in the side of the head and survived. If your suicide attempt fails they will charge you with attempted murder and lock you up in a mental institution for life.


The wrong way:
* Pointing gun to side of head
* Gun and bullet is too small



The right way:
* Pointing gun in mouth and to the brain
* Big gun and bullet to guarantee death
* One note, he should point the gun toward the direct center of the brain

And one more very important note. Avoid the murder part, because if you commit murder and find yourself getting cold feet when you are supposed to kill yourself, you will be in deep trouble.

245 Comments:

  • please do not do this i just lost my baby cousin to this two days ago . she was only 34 yrs old with two kids 18 and seven. her son father still cannot get himself together to tell his 7 yr old that mommy took her own life by looking at web sites like this.please don't do this GOD loves you so much if you are reading this. think about your family your friends the level of pain this will cause. DO NOT BE SELFISH PLEASE. tell everyone you know how much youy love them and what they mean to you.

    By Blogger god loves you, at 12:34 AM  

  • Thank you for this information. It is a lot of help.

    As people are no longer able to find employment, grow old, begin to have medical issues and their close ones are no longer living then this appears to be the humane solution to a dignified release from this life. Some people do not want to be a burden on those around them and do not want to be disrespected by others. This may be a valid solution for some.

    For example, I have worked with people through the Resource-MN. I have been told that they are too busy and do not have time to communicate with their clients for several weeks by e-mail or phone.

    I have been told through the veteran services that they do not have a way to connect medical issues to employment. I was even told that because I have a wide variety of interests that I cannot be helped. As someone with Diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, degenerative bone diseases, obesity, and vision problems that have only recently begun to effect my employment that I fall through the cracks. I made too much money last year to be provided any help for my current situation. No one will coordinate the medical issues with the need to be employed.

    Currently, I am studying for an MBA and I am at the 98% level in my classes. Last year, I began doing triathlons but due to performing work that has aggravated my physical issues, then I may not be able to work as I did before, ie., 2 to 3 jobs at a time.

    I want to work and I have even been looked down upon because I am willing to work 50 to 60 hours in a week.

    I am sorry for people that will miss those of us that must die but please understand that for some of us, there is no one and there is no other solution. We go to a better place. We are no longer a burden. We fall through the cracks.

    By Blogger 4devo, at 3:11 PM  

  • Thank you very much. I really needed that information. I have been thinking of killing myself for a long time and I am glad to know that there is a fail-proof way to do it.

    I won't commit suicide right away. I will wait until I am quite sure that my life has hit rock bottom and then do it. I will leave a note so that my loved ones won't worry too much and I will see them when they too pass away.

    Once again, thank you. Your advice was very helpful.

    By Blogger PrincessOfDarkness, at 7:07 AM  

  • Thanks for the information! And to all those people who try to stop others from suicide, I say SHUT UP. It's my own right to end my life if I want to. Mind your own dam business. Thanks.

    By Blogger LongJohn, at 8:18 PM  

  • "please don't do this GOD loves you so much if you are reading this." If you are not reading this, do not commit suicide because God hates you.

    By Blogger westley, at 5:56 AM  

  • My eighteen year old sister commited suicide less then two months ago, she stuck a gun under her chin and pulled the trigger.
    She was beautiful, amazing and struggling with manic depression.
    For all those struggling with thoughts of suicide, reconsider, beacuse no matter how many notes you leave, how clean you try to make it, the damage you leave behind is endless.

    By Blogger Simply Ironic, at 3:43 AM  

  • Hey everyone! Whoever is posting this hates white people and is willing to help us off ourselves! I'm probably going to lose my job Friday. I'll follow his handy tips! Thanks, Google! Thanks, nice liberal dude!

    By Blogger Kristin, at 11:25 PM  

  • I've taken a dopamine D2 receptor antagonist medication for 10+ years and am starting to develop an irrreversable jaw and facial movement disorder that will make it nearly impossible for me to go out in public without looking like a freak. Its not real bad yet but if it gets really noticable my plan is to shoot myself in the forehead with a large caliber handgun. I can't believe following the advice of my doctor has lead me to this :'(

    By Blogger Tardive, at 8:29 PM  

  • i am turning 28 in a few weeks and i lost my job and my vehicle, now I'm getting kicked out on the streets for not having rent money. i have been in a bad position for the last 2 years. i owe too mich money to the courts for fines and penalties that accrued by me not being able to pay the original fines off in time. and trying to pay off my fines i kept driconference to work while my license was suspended for failure to pay my court tickets. so at this point i have 9 driving on suspentions and a total ofi owe to the courts. and it all started off as a 550 ticket in 2002. i have attempted suiced several different times and i am now screwed up in the head from people not explaining correct methods id suicide. pills,helium,inert gas. nothin worked. i recently met a friend who gave me his .45 and said he understands my situation and hopes i make the right decision.

    By Blogger mark, at 8:03 AM  

  • I'm 34. After being with my first wife for 13 years and going to school to be a pastor, she couldn't deal with major lower back issues I had as well as the god thing. She left and took my little girl with her. Things got better for a while and Morgan said she wanted to live with daddy. I was thrilled. But her mother got pregnant and on hollowed last year after trick or treating she said she didn't want to live with me anymore. After an awesome night together. I was crushed; lonely and after some prodding by the guys at my then wrk place I went out with them in order to try and not be so-lonely. I got a DUI on my way home. It had been 7 years since I had drank and drove but my proofs now have me facing a year in jail and losing my license for 10 years. I have also been prescribed habit forming, multiple medications which I was informed that if I went to county lock up for a year I would not be receiving my medications. I don't abuse them but have been without them before because of a break in to my home a couple years ago. Horrendous suffering from methadone lowertab and klonapin. This is what I'm facing. Hell !! My current wife needs some one to support her and she is pregnant. I don't want to commit suicide but I don't see a way out. Please some one, tell me how to do this with a semiauto 22 rifle. Inneed this done. I also recently became unemployed. I don't want to be a burden on anyone. Please help. Jrmmllr8@gmail.com

    By Blogger Jeremy, at 3:05 PM  

  • Please let me say just this. So many people say, if you die, I'll never survive. But consider this...we have all lost loved ones, relatives and friends. We mourned and suffered for awhile but in time did we all not live, love, and laugh again? None of us are that important that if our life ends, others will as well. Suicide seems selfish but it's not. People in this state do consider others but can find no other way to escape their own pain. Do not deny them that. If you truly love them, you will support them on this, so that they may finally find peace. In time, those left behind will be fine as well and completely at peace too.

    By Blogger jerryvangogh, at 4:19 PM  

  • Thanks! Now when I can get my hands on a gun, Pow. I was about to do it the wrong way, to the side of the head. :/ Now I know how to do it right.

    By Blogger Kelvin, at 4:32 AM  

  • I'm contemplating on committing suicide already because my life has hit the bottom financially! +234(0)8035442494

    By Blogger alex, at 11:40 AM  

  • All I need is a couple hundred $$ and I'm gone. 34 yrs old, single, hooked on heroin, detoxed with methadone, but I don't see myself living w/out drugs to numb the pain. As for everyone saying "god loves you", here's a note, HE DOESN"T EXIST. Why else would he put these thoughts in peoples' heads. Some are born w/out a care in the world, while others are doing their worrying for them and everyone else. I've suffered anxiety and depression since 2 yrs of age. "God" hasn't intervened in 32 years, and I don't plan on him doing so. I AM a burden on people I know. I'm out .

    By Blogger Steve, at 5:39 PM  

  • Sometimes the system breaks people. Yeah there are tons of people all enforcing ideas that break others. Get a job to make money, get a relationship to be whole, get good at being liked to be accepted, leave some kind of legacy to know you actually existed and were of some worth, and believe in some kind of religion...some kind of something. Life sometimes is something you can't see in totality. To keep sane you have to push towards small goals, distract with work, distract with something...anything...and do not think about the big picture of....what is it all for.Why suffer over and over for snippets of promises that seem impossible to sustain....how can i stop my heart and head from fighting and sabotaging each other and therefore me....how can i ever find anyone from my own world...my own sense of stability and safety...

    for those who leave, know you can. but its rough, cause in our hopes we say...this shouldn't be our call...this is someone else's decision...this is some event that's not suppose to manifest by me.

    the thing is...we are in control of both our hearts, heads, emotions whatever...we can with discipline stop. suppose we talked to each other...suppose we talked to those who are so close to that edge..its difficult to talk to people who dont fuckin understand the darkness, the flood of emptiness, the tiredness and weight of it all as we just sleep and sleep....nothing else to do.

    funny...would we tell someone with opportunity to give up to stop, are we just missing our own opportunity. I think its a comfort to know that there is an out. If you are done with the fight then you are done...but be relaxed be at peace, not rushed from an emotional cue. be as rational as possible when releasing yourself. for those with fight-fuck this mess and take it down -you already are going to sacrifice your life so do it in style. FUck the rules. be. do. become whatever and fuck all the rest. who knows what you could get away with.

    know you can say no. you can say i don't have to do this. know you can be resourceful and get whatever you want...i mean c'mmon you have the frickin internet. take the rest of your money and time and go somewhere, buy something, find a way out or go out with fire in your heart and freedom on your mind...perhaps then you'd find your way back to keeping the gun away and if not, then you'll just fly another way.


    It is only I that has failed to have taken care of You

    Control is Yours

    Bring Death Not to Dreams, but Let them Soar

    Sharp as an Edge, Sailing Silent to Whatever End.

    By Blogger Victor, at 11:33 PM  

  • I WILL DO IT WITH A BIG CALIBER GUN, AT LEAST A .357 MAGNUM AND IN THE MOUTH STRAIGHT AT THE BRAIN. ILL TELL MY WIFE A NOTE SHE CAN CREMATE AND FLUSH MY ASHES IN THE TOILET ALONG WITH THE SHIT BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE I BELONG, GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD....MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER TOLD ME I WAS A PIECE OF SHIT AND DAMN SHE WAS RIGHT...

    By Blogger Ali, at 3:43 PM  

  • This is actually pretty solid information. Too many people with the "gun in mouth" method don't tilt the barrel towards the brain and survive with a wicked painful hole in the back of the throat. You can't ever go wrong with hollow-points, and a caliber of 9mm+ is recommended though you may as well splurge and go for a .40S&W or .45ACP. What the hell do you need the money for anyway, right?

    By Blogger Thurman Thomas, at 5:03 AM  

  • thank you very much for this information... i have lost everything and now i am forced to live at a friends house to... as they say... get your life back together. well , i have no life, no money, no one to call my own... it is just me and my cat "sting". i am sure that my friends will take care of him for me, cause now i can not even afford to feed him much less feed myself. i need the courage to do this, cause going through another day is painful enough. i just hope that my friends will all remember me when i am gone


    steve allison

    By Blogger STEVE, at 7:55 PM  

  • I too am contemplating suicide, however, unlike many people here, I was raised in a different country and taught a more spiritual belief. I come from a very poor and violent background but, it was in America that my ideas of commiting suicide became more valid and possible due to the huge focus on financial freedom and the lack of a spiritual (not religious) practice! I also do believe that people living in the U.S. are more prone to not value the things they have because they are so influenced to compete with each other and to take their self value from things other than more sustainnable sources like family and friends, love for nature and yes: God! (whatever that means to you).
    People in this country are raised to be too independent and that can cause a huge emotional emptyness in the long run. The feeling of not being able to count on another person or the wish to not become a burden to somone is exarcebated due to the fact that people are taught to not depend on others. Even families and friends that come from another country to live in the U.S. will change overtime and will become more individualistic. That happened to me and my family and some of my friends. There is too much freedom in this country and a lack of fear of consequences and yet, people feel like they are inprisoned inside themselves and that is why commiting suicide is an option!
    I have noticed that people who have survived horrible things (like some people in Africa who get raped or have their limbs cut off for stupid selfish reasons) and are still fighting to stay alive, do so because they do indeed believe in a higher power or a bigger reason to be alive.
    I too hate the world and hate a lot of people that I believe deserve to die more than most of us here. But I'm still trying to concentrate on the reasons why I should keep fighting the desire to die. If there is really no God nor an afterlife, it seems to me that it would be an even more stupid reason to die since I'm going from a shitty life in this world to another one without an existence of any kind.
    I believe there should always be a reason to live and even more a reason to die! If there's no better place for me to go where I can have peace, than I better stay in this shitty world and try to make it better too!
    "WE MUST BECOME THE CHANGE WE WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD."

    PS: TO THE GUY WITH THE CAT LIVING WITH HIS FRIENDS: Stop being irresponsible and think of your cat. No one can take better care of him than you! i'm sure your cat is one of the very few things left in this world that can bring you some sort of happiness so try to hold on to it and use your love for your cat to give you the will to get a job and get your life together. Take advantage of your friends letting you live with them because most of us don't even have that to count on, and try to show some gratitude by getting a job (of any kind) and showing to your friends that their help mattered! I lost my car, my job and my cat that I considered my child since I had him being born on the bed that I was sleeping on 17 years ago. Today I'm living unemployed, with a boyfriend who abuses me and I have no friends or family to offer me a place to stay. I lost my father when I was 11 and am probably going to lose my mom to cancer soon. All of us have problems! Avoid being left alone for long periods of time because that's when the bad thoughts take over and we get depressed. If you have friends, try spending more time with them and talking about what bothers you. Some of us don't have that luxury and that is what can save your life sometimes...

    By Blogger Patricia, at 9:18 PM  

  • God is a sinister type of shall we say 'entity' ? I say don't kill yourself and find a way to kill god. This might sound funny but I've been to the edge so many times and am starting to see the real problem. There isn't one besides some sicko Creator watching us suffer. Please note this doesn't have anything to do with hurting humanity. we are all in the same boat and in hell.

    By Blogger r6s1k7f0, at 8:30 AM  

  • I'm 26 years old, and at the end of my road. I got myself booted out of the military, fired from every job I've ever had, and booted out of school. My problem? I never knew how good of an opportunity I had until it was gone; a personality flaw, to be sure.

    Now recently I've had an epiphane. I finally want to change. I don't want to repeat the mistakes of the past 8 years anymore. I even developed a 12-year career & education plan; actual life goals. But the challenges ahead of me are enormous: I have $75,000 in student loan debt, I'm unemployed, and my health is failing. I used to be an alcoholic, and I quit smoking last year after 6 years, but the stress of it all and having to live by barely getting by for 8 years makes me feel like I've aged prematurely. I'm 26 years old but I feel like I'm 86. I'm tired, and I don't want to spend the next 15-20 years getting to where I should have been five years ago. I want a way out, and now I've found one. Thank you.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I read the autobiography of a Navy SEAL who had to execute someone while he did some work for the CIA in Cuba. It IS possible to do it to the side of the head but it has to be somewhat precise. Just behind (and slightly below) the center of the ear is the brain stem. Put the bullet there and death should be almost instantaneous and painless... but better to follow the article author's advice.

    By Blogger SOCOM-DELTA, at 5:16 AM  

  • I've been around the world twice. I'm a born again Christian. I fought like hell through Desert Storm, a divorce that devastated me, child support for two kids (in Ohio, no less!), and an Engineering degree that got me nowhere!
    I'll cut to the chase. What gives a man courage? Honor! What gives a man dignity? Honor! What makes life worth living? Honor! If God has not afforded you honor, what is your life worth?
    You have your release!

    By Blogger Brent, at 10:38 PM  

  • I am in so much trouble money always causes it now I have to kill myself its the only way out

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:19 AM  

  • Please let this be the last failed attempt. 50 and I could have just replayed the loss of love and rejection over and over since I was born. Why some go thru life with a song and others never seem to fit in.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:02 AM  

  • This comment has been removed by the author.

    By Blogger Dr. LaPaglia, Esq., at 3:17 PM  

  • Look people. Suicide is not the way to go. You can always find another way to live your life. Think about it. If you got enough money to buy a gun and kill yourself, why not use that gun to go rob drug dealers and use their drugs and money to make a better life for yourself? Atleast then if you get killed robbing them you will end up in the same place.


    My outlOok on it is if you are set in your ways and want to die, why not live out your evil sides dreams? Go on a high speed chase. Rob some shit. Go get even with enemies. Take on the cops. Something. Atleast youll die with your name in a book and a few television talk shows rather than a random person that couldn't even make the local section of your newspapers obituary. If you aren't man enough to do that, chances are you are gonna be sitting down crying with a gun in your mouth until you finally decide that you can't really do it. Death is death no matter how you get to it.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:30 PM  

  • My brother shot himself in the head with a high power rifle and the "right" bullet. When it was all over, a month later the dectective gave me the gun and casing. I sat in the chair my brother used and put the gun in my mouth to feel the cold metal and the last thing he felt. He left a note, told me he was sorry he let me down and should have come to me for help. GOD DID THAT HURT ME.
    I miss my brother every day. I am crying right now thinking of him. He said he had to do it. I understand.
    I am also a paramedic and two of our medics did it within a year of my brother. One carbon monoxide, one gun.
    I can't decide what I want to do...stay here or go. I am a female, and the drugs and plastic bag over the head seems like the way to go. I wouldn't miss anything, but I know people would miss me. But, life goes on. People forget you or say you were a coward. They have no idea how hard it is to live when you are mentally ill and feel nothing, nothing to live for, even the kids, nothing to be excited about just being here. It sucks. I may have to go too.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:12 PM  

  • Hi, People! I havesubscribed to this blog before because, like all of you, I was really desperate and had lost hope for better days, and so I wanted to commit suicide too!
    Today, I'm leaving my last message here because unlike you, I have found hope and am very happy and NOT thinking of suicide! Reading the posts that people leave here is very depressing and I no longer want to be surrounded by that kind of energy. I just wanted to let you know that IT WILL PASS if you believe and hold on a little longer!
    A lot of times, depression or loss of interest in life come because of simple stuff that CAN BE FIXED like: getting a job, leaving an abusive realationship and so on... These two exemples can make you feel so much happier than you can imagine! There is nothing like not having a job and being in an abusive relationship to make you feel like crap and that your life will never get better...
    YOU ARE YOUR OWN PROBLEM BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONE MAKING BAD CHOICES. BUT YOU CAN ALSO BE YOUR OWN SOLUTION IF YOU START GETTING SOME BALLS TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES TOO! I don't to put more pressure on anyone here because I know how it feels to not be able to get a job for a while with this f..ing economy. But when it comes to bad relationships, I DO believe we are at fault for chosing to stay!
    I too had lost a loved one and maybe I'll be losing my mom to Cancer too. I already lost my father when I was 11 and was raised super-poor in a under-developed country. That didn't kill me! Yes, i suffered and still have issues to deal with. But nothing that I can not handle! ONE THING IS TO END YOUR LIFE BECAUSE IT FEELS SHITTY. ANOTHER THING IS TO MAKE SOMEONE'S LIFE SHITTY BECAUSE YOU ENDED YOUR LIFE! You are responsible for your life and belive it or not, for other people's life too!!!
    There is someone in this world to whom you are God! It doesn't matter if it's just your pet or a total stranger! The point is: YOU MATTER!!!!
    FUCK THE REST who told you that you don't matter!
    GET SOME BALLS and show them that you're more than the eyes can see...If you're surrounded by people who love to put you down, then go away from them! Find your inner power to be on your own and you'll see how delicious freedom (physical, emotional or mental) can taste! You will find powers within you that you didn't know you had...
    Hope you'll all find the truth before it's too late!
    Sending you all a lot of LOVE & HOPE!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:59 PM  

  • You provide a lot of good advice. This type of action should not be entered into lightly. Yes, it is depressing. It should be.

    One thing that you missed is that not everything is transitory. I am a disabled veteran that goes to the VAMC in the Twin Cities. I have tried to talk with people through multiple levels of the organization. 2 Senators have tried to help me for 10 months. The VAMC continues to ignore treating veterans with respect. They won't even return a phone call. I was even in the emergency room where they threatened to have the police throw me out at 1 AM without proper Winter clothing. This was a risk to my health and could have led to killing me.

    Some problems do not require "BALLS". Some things you do not have any control over. Yes, there are organizations that say they are there for help but what do you do when they fail you? When you are alone and desperate, when all avenues you need to survive are not available, then sometimes, the answer that you don't want is the only one left.

    When you are sick and you can't communicate with your medical professionals because they refuse to listen, then your health is threatened by the people that are in a position to protect you. Some forces kill people that are out of there control, i.e. tsunami, car accident and medical professionals that refuse to hear.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:35 AM  

  • Reading this has helped me so much. I've been unemployed for years with no hope of getting a job again. I have been living off of my savings, retirement money, and second home mortgage. In a few months I will run out of money altogether. I do not qualify for any government assistance of any kind. I have no family to take me in. I have medical issues which are expensive to treat. I'm over 60 y.o., and my health will continue to decline For me there is only one choice. I have no loved ones who would be severely affected when I go. I don't think anyone would even show up for a memorial service for me.

    My choice is clear, but the method is not. I would use a gun in my throat, aimed at the brain. I know nothing about guns or bullets. I want to be sure I do it correctly. I'd appreciate some specific advice and/or clarification of what people have written here about guns and bullets.

    I thank everyone who wrote here and showed me that I am not alone.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:23 AM  

  • I've priced out guns around here and 22's are the cheapest. Hey, I'm suicidal but I'm still a Scot. I'm not going to spend more money than I have to.

    Will a 22 get the job done if I put it in my mouth and aim up?

    Also, I don't want to leave too much of a mess to clean up. How long before I kill myself should I go without eating or drinking?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:43 AM  

  • I want to kill myself. I have a .38 special and hollow point bullets somewhere. I don't want to leave a mess and I don't want my face to be horribly deformed. Please give advice on the best way to achieve this. I can put plastic where the bullet will exit. But how to achieve the rest without too much pain or chance of being disabled?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:57 PM  

  • I'm pregnant with an unsupportive boyfriend who insists on the abortion yet refuses to pay for it. My family moved away and I no longer have a job to support my mooching boyfriend. This seems like the only alternative--there's no way I can get the money for an abortion as soon as I need it. Thank you for the tips.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:02 PM  

  • This is to Anonymous, in response to your ridiculously egregious pre-suicide suggestions: Most folks that want to go want to do so because it's so low and horrible that anything that can go wrong absolutely will. So if you're living in the depths of despair you can't exactly try to rob someone or something because it will go drastically wrong, just as everything else in life has, and said person(s) will end up locked up, which just isn't an option. At this point all that's left is the tiny say-so we have left in life, and that's obviously gone if incarcerated. And most of us know how horrible life is, so we really don't want to wish any harm on other folks. Companies and major markets, well, that's a different story, but hopefully you get my point. Most of us are folks that have worked our asses off, achieved great things, and have just become worthless throwaways by the world. The Powers That Be don't care, so it makes it incredibly difficult to care about one's self. I even made the Dean's List at a major University this year; they won't even give me enough in loans to stay enrolled, and I can't find a flippin' job for crap. No, that's not exactly true--I found two places that, knowing how desperate I am, offered me hard ass labor for five bucks an hour, under the table. I'm now convinced that this whole thing is just a cruel interpretation of life by the Puppet Master, taking bets to see how far some of us could get before finally putting ourselves out of this incessant, perpetual misery.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:37 AM  

  • Suicide is my business, not yours, I am trying to find information about gun, the damn things are expensive. I need cheap, been out of work for couple years, so simply put time to check out. Now trying to find cheap gun, lower calibers are cheap, i.e. 25 cal, but just want to make sure it will do the job.

    By Blogger john, at 1:40 PM  

  • Thanks for the info,definetly dont try it w/ a .22 or .25,I have some nice guitars so pawning one or trading it at the pawn shop wouldnt be a problem,but I dont drive and cant exactly ride home on my bicycle w/ a shotgun and anyone I know wouldnt give me a ride cuz they know what Im gonna do.I beleive its our own choice and fuck what anyone else says.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:05 AM  

  • It's my life and I'll decide what I want to do with it. I can't live with the person I have become. Im only 25 and my life is over as I see it. I was such a good hearted person. I took the medication Propecia at the ripe age of 22. That one mistake has destroyed me mentaly, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I refuse to live the rest of my life as a fucking emotionally dead eunuch. I was chemically castrated. Fuck doctors and the FDA for approving and pushing this poison. I will send a message. I want the dermatologist that SOLD me on that poison to feel what I have felt. Everything that I ever was or have accomplished has been stolen from me because I was young, vain and stupid for trusting a doctor. Death is too good for you. I will physically castrate you and rip your eyes out. Only then will you comprehend the meaningless depths of hell you have cast me into. Maybe then will the voices of thousands of other men suffering will be heard. I was just getting my life started you mother fucker. My degree was a waste. My passions and interests out the window. I am walking death awaiting revenge. You saw me as money in the pocket and nothing else. You altered my destiny so I will now have to choose this one. I refuse to live with knowing the life i would have lived. The man I know I would have become. All or nothing.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:34 PM  

  • Interesting...

    I am 4 attempts now...pills suck..don't waste your time.

    Was put into psych unit... all they did was block me from praying my way... and abuse me because they didn't believe I was in pain and tried to force me out of a wheelchair. Now I am terrified of failure. Just bought a .40 cal.

    I have RA (rheumetoid arthritis), fibromyalgia, chronic pain and chronic fatigue. I am on disability but cannot take care of myself. I get worse by the day. Now my fiance has freaked out and we are ending. I cannot do life alone...have nothing to offer.. nothing so simple as to be able to go get a job or make any sort of a difference in the world. I am a former human right activist... stood up to Israeli soldiers with ak47's in my face... never had fear.

    But I am absolutely terrified of failing. I just need out. I did more in my first 26 years of life than most... and now I am in hell. God abandoned me ...hell was he ever there? oh wait yes... he is like a cat and I'm the mouse... torture me till I'm almost dead but not quite.

    I've got a great one for you... what happens to the person after the so called miracle? They are me. Suffer endlessly. I was hung while on a train in Ecuador...my glut medius ripped off of my hip bone... back herniated.. now RA and fibro...and now a fiance that yelled at me cuz I haven't been to the gym... and now vacillated between love and contempt for me... oh please let me go...please please please

    For those of you without jobs...or in financial crisis.. please don't buy into the BS that you are nothing. Do a bankruptcy...hell if it's good enough for Trump 2x then it's good enough for you. free yourselves.

    All of you are worthy... good people...struggling but still worthy. I need out because I can't handle the pain any more. Dr. Kavorkian (sp?) helped a friend of mine Carrie... I didn't understand when she said she was done... now I am there...I just want out...please free me from this agony in my body and in my mind.

    By Anonymous robin in denver, at 12:15 AM  

  • Will a .22 do the job of suicide and if so how?

    By Blogger PaulBrenner, at 12:33 PM  

  • Some times it's better to burn out than to fade away.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:35 PM  

  • I think "it's better to burn out, than to fade away."

    By Blogger genious, at 7:40 PM  

  • I don't think it matters much what caliber you use as long as it's a .22 or above. It is very important that you use a hollow point bullet, especially if you're using a lower caliber gun. I think the brain stem sits in back of the throat maybe a little more towards the roof of your mouth. Good luck

    By Blogger genious, at 2:20 PM  

  • I want to do it now. I just don't have the balls. I'm worried about my dog.

    By Blogger genious, at 12:16 AM  

  • actually a .22 will do just fine, a friend of mine put the barrel right under his eye to the side of his nose and was instantly dead. So many cases here I read and can totally understand where they are coming from, while others I see as just idiotic, but to each their own I guess. There are some problems that just wont end, and as I have seen in a post near the end, we who are serious about this know that everything we try will fail, and it seems there is nothing we can do about it. I am 32 with no education, no job, no hope of ever getting one that I can support myself with. I have a beautiful wife who refuses to leave me, and I almost feel that this is the most unselfish thing I can do. I hear about so many who have accomplished very much and wonder why would they want to die, but I understand hopelessness, its just that maybe its only hopeless in their eyes in that case. For people like me, what are you supposed to do when you are just plain too stupid to accomplish anything, when you have no discipline and can barely force yourself out of bed, just sleeping life away because we dont know if the punishment for this will be even worse if there is one. I cannot see this ever changing. I do not have the brains to do anything with my life and people around me constantly make the mistake of thinking that I do, but just don't want to. I do unfortunately have enough brains to know that I have no purpose at all here, but not enough to apply toward anything constructive. Some of us have been fighting since day 1 and just cannot handle the self hatred anymore. Sometimes the more people love you the more pressure there is to satisfy them. I am terribly afraid that there will be a severe punishment for this, I just have not decided if it could get much worse. Maybe dying of old age or whatever it will be is something to consider. I don't know, I am afraid that I will have to pay for this and if I could just stay asleep for fifty years or so, it would happen all on it's own, but that is not realistic. In reality, there is no answer for anyone to give me. One thing I would really like is some company. If anyone wants to do this I would really love some company not to do it alone. I'm afraid of giving any info here also though as I don't want anyone knocking at my door trying to push their values on me when they havent the first fucking clue what this life is like. Anyone that can offer company going out please leave your info and I will get in touch.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:40 AM  

  • After looking at all these posts I
    think I'll do carbon monoxide instead.
    I don't like the idea of feeling my
    brains getting blown out anyway.
    I don't think it is instant like
    everyone says.
    I have a reliable source of the gas
    I will take a couple of valium, a
    shot of bourbon, and start the CO
    when I feel drowsy from the pills.
    I just go to sleep once n for all.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:29 AM  

  • To all of those who are thinking about committing suicide, Please, Please don't. Life WILL get better. It's all in how your handling your thoughts right now. I thought about suicide last year, but I just knew my life couldn't be this bad forever. I was going through a divorce, have 2 wonderful boys, and I was missing my husband painfully much. I did not have a job as I was a stay at home mom during my marriage. I was told from my ex-husband that he was no longer going to support me, the kids-yes, but not me. I also did not know where to go as he would not move out of "our" house and he wanted me to leave. After 3 months I was working and had found an apartment. A year and a half later when our divorce was final, I was able to buy my own place and my boys and I are happier now than we have been for a very long time. Also, as time has gone on, I don't miss my husband anymore and I have moved on. I couldn't imagine what life would be like for my kids if I were to have come up with a plan and actually follow through. Just look at what I have done since the day I thought of suicide. Remarkable things to turn my life around.

    Whatever is going on in your life, nothing, I repeat, nothing is worth taking your own life. IT WILL GET BETTER.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:28 AM  

  • Suicide really seems like the best thing. Life is way to fucking hard, what is the point of all this suffering.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:08 AM  

  • Even tho I have the gun...I just hate to damage someone else when they find my body with the violence of a gun. All I want to do is have people around me that I love...tell them I love them...and hold their hands as I peacefully slip away. WHy is that too much to ask? I am now looking into (Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking) VSED. I hope it can be a less violent end. That is not what I want...just no more pain...no more loss of dignity...no more needles...no more pills... just peace...let this traitor body go back to the earth to create live...instead of my torture. Please God...for once let me go.

    By Anonymous robin in denver, at 2:25 PM  

  • Leave a note, not a mess. Don't leave us guessing what if, what we could have done differently, how we could help. God gave man the right for free will. If you are in so much pain that this is the only way out, then bless you on your journey. My hope is, of course, that in writing your note you will find an ounce of courage and compassion for those you will leave behind, who love you and will be devastated. I recently lost my son to suicide by gun. No note. Only his twin daughters age 3 to raise.

    Please, leave a note.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:25 PM  

  • HOW CAN I FIND A GUN PLEASE . I HAVE 1000,00 DOLLARS TO SPEND

    By Blogger JOHNNYTENNIS1, at 7:03 PM  

  • I hafta hand it to these folks who blow their brains out with a gun.
    It takes a lot of balls to put that
    thing in your mouth and pull the trigger.
    I think CO is a much better choice.
    You just go to sleep and don't wake up.
    That's the one for me.
    God blesses some and poops on others..theres no rhyme or
    reason to it.
    He either likes you or he doesn't.
    And if he don't you had better look out.
    Good luck to all.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:44 AM  

  • I'm thinking I'm going to...I'm totally, completly in love with my wife...she wants nothing to do with me now and is taking my daughter from me. Without them I have nothing. I've lived a completly devoted life to them. Never cheated...never wanted to. I have no one else. No one else to hurt by doing this. My daughters too young to know the difference....she loves me to death and is 3 years old...but her mommy isn't going to let me c her again. U see. Shear not my biological daughter. Shes never met her real daddy. But ice been here her whole life and she calls me daddy. I can't take the pain and heart break. I have nothing and no one. I don't want a life without them in it. I have no where to go. I just hope my gun will work. Its only 9mm...I'm gonna wait for my baby girl to go to school in a few hours Sib shes not here. This is my last night before she said I have to leave in the morning...guess ill b leaving, just not the way she thought. I bet shell even b Happy...I don't know what else to say...so goodbye

    By Blogger bythetimeyoureadthis, at 2:59 AM  

  • I'm 30 years old, divorced...3 children with my ex-husband, he has custody. I had a baby who died at 38 weeks with my boyfriend, we broke up and I'm living with my mother. Every day it is a struggle not to kill myself to be with my son who died. The only thing that keeps me going are my three children and I do not want to ruin their lives more than I already have. P.S. There is no God, it's just something made up to explain pain and suffering in the world.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:53 PM  

  • i hear all the comments and look back at my life. i was just released from the hospital for trying to kill my self with my shot gun. i couldn't pull the trigger. when i was in the hospital it seemed so different, the people you talk to and the counciling you go through. then you get out and its totally different.i have two great kids 18&19 and they just look at you. they dont say anything or talk about it just stare.i look back to that day when i didnt pull the trigger and ask myself, why? i dont know!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:16 AM  

  • I'm going to use carbon monoxide.
    Just get a propane heater and disconnect the CO safety sensor.
    Wait for a cool night and go to sleep in my car with the propane
    on and the windows up.
    Take a Sominex, a stiff drink, and
    turn on the propane as I start to
    get drowsy.
    Very simple and no mess,,no blowing
    your brains out with a shotgun.
    If theres a heaven great.
    If not thats fine too.
    I don't really give a shit at
    this point - neither does God.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:53 PM  

  • after 28 years on the job-out of work for a year.financially at bottom-- suicide IS the answer

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:08 PM  

  • I won't leave some long, drawn out description about how wrong you are about the steriotype you describe, nor will I tell you how unimaginitave your proposed method of suicide-by-gun is. I will say this, there is nothing but soft tissue (and little of it) between the brain and the eye. No "large caliber" is necessary. The only thing to consider here is, perhaps, a bit of aim. Should you find yourself reading this and pondering a thought, feel free to message me at bushikida at gmail dot com. Thank you.

    By Blogger WashingtonBob, at 4:56 AM  

  • I don't have hollow points,will it work with just regular bullets? I only have two left and I don't want to do this and then accidentally still live, that would be awful!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:57 PM  

  • I am 35 years old. I recently was diagnosed with a medical condition, and I lost my job, my fiancee left me, I lost my house, and my family could care less. I told my parents about my condition and their only concern was if either one of them could get what I have. I'm more than broke and the few friends I have left have their own problems. I'm now an alcoholic and am just a burden on society and the few friends I talk with regularly. I think about suicide everyday and have been obsessed with people like Hunter Thompson (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas) who exited this world on his own terms. I own a 9mm and .45cal, and been prescribed the strongest pain pills imaginable. I finished reading the peaceful pill book by exit Intl and it seems that they concur with this author's recommendation about placing the handgun inside the mouth and slightly angling the gun upward. I am concerned about the consequences of getting this wrong, however and I am trying to think of other ways to make this full proof. perhaps doing this off of the end of a boat in calm waters just before ingesting a few hundred sleeping/pain pills? That way if the bullet wound to the brain doesn't kill you, you will certainly drown (and likely be a pain free exit). According to the book, the most effective and least painful way to go is using a powerful anesthetic used by vets or OD on barbiturates. Very hard to access these, however. I'm fairly certain my life will be coming to an end in a few weeks. I dont believe in God and I already tried therapy--to no avail. I am saddened by this, but at least I won't be hurting anyone (no one cares now, anyway) and I will no longer be a burden to others. I sincerely hope anyone reading this finds peace somehow. Life has been cruel to me, may you find the kindness and warmth I have been unable to find in this world. Buy the ticket, take the ride.

    By Anonymous Hunter, at 6:05 AM  

  • My life is near rock bottom, thanks for the advice, I'll take a .44 hollow point and leave a note to my loved ones if I decide to go through it when my life has nothing else. Lifes a bitch, don't you ever forget this line.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:45 AM  

  • ive been wanting to commit suicide for a ver long time perhaps since i was about 7 years old i really never like life sometimes im happy sometime im not i hate suffering i dont have it bad but like i said ive never like life ive tryed pill didnt work crashing the car didnt work i recently foind my moms gun ive been thinkin about it but cant get mysef to do it i always tell myself the greatest gift i can
    ever receive would be death.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:35 PM  

  • what would help more is advice on how to depress yourself to the point of actually committing suicide instead of just thinking about it.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:01 AM  

  • That's easy. Just follow the likes of Steve Sailer and you will surely end up in depression and hopelessness to end your life.

    By Blogger sailerfraud, at 5:15 AM  

  • 52 years of age; have been suicidal since age 23. To all who say don't do it, things get better-WHEN? Started going downhill when I was 24; first wife got pregnant by best friend-since have had more and more shit piled on. Not long ago, youngest child came of age and finished high school; so finally my responsibilities are discharged. My daughter has not spoken to me at all in the past 10 years; my stepdaughter will only talk to me when she wants money; my oldest has turned my home into a filthy, bug-ridden whorehouse; and I have been (involuntarily) celibate since 17 September 1999. Just haven't seen the upward trend in all this.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:53 AM  

  • I've noticed a few people are worried about your body being found after you're dead. Actually, that doesn't have to be an issue. With a little bit of planning, you can disappear with no mess, no fuss, and only a small chance of being found.

    The idea is easy. First, go buy a logging chain. These things are expensive, but as someone else mentioned, what else are you going to spend your money on? So get a logging chain. At least 20 ft, but longer is better. Next, find a body of water. Preferably deep, and preferably slow-moving. A lake is great. Even a large river will work. The idea is that you can't see the bottom.

    So you have a chain, you have a lake. Hopefully you remembered your gun. That's pretty important. Now you need to get out over the lake. If there's a bridge, great! Otherwise you might need a canoe or something. I don't recommend a cliff... too close to the shore.

    So you probably see where this is going. Once you're out over the water, wrap that chain around your chest. Crossways, bandolier-style, is best. The chain is heavy as hell, but you should be able to stand with no problem. Once you're chain-wrapped, just get to the edge of whatever you're on, bridge, canoe, whatever. Turn so that you'll fall backwards into the water. Stick the barrel in your mouth. Lean back a bit and pull that trigger.

    Voila! No mess, no body, no worries! Unless you're a dumbass and made it obvious exactly what you were doing to everyone you care about, no one will ever find your body. Or if they do, you'll be a chained-up skeleton by then.

    Just a quick bit of advice. This is how I plan to go. I know from experience that it's much easier to forget the dead if they just disappear.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:26 PM  

  • thank you for this info. if i decide to go this route, i want to make sure i do it right.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:23 PM  

  • people say god cares. but if a person is considering killing themself, such comfort is utterly meaningless. if they believed that god cared or that god could solve their problems, they wouldn't be considering suicide in the first place.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:26 PM  

  • Does God really love us? My father shot himself, my brother molested me and now my husband of 22 years has left me. I have two children and the pain of this life is just unbearable. Soon I will have my gun back. I care for this life no more it has only teased me with a life of repeated failures. Is it selfishness? Will I damage my children forever. I don't think so. I finally realize that my father did what he needed to because of his pain too and in that respect perhaps he did us a favor. I have forgiven him and know now that he took the only way out available to him. One can not run from their own mind. So someday I am sure that my children will realize the same of me.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:31 PM  

  • I hope you kill yourself. I didnt even read the whole thing becuase your writing is incredibly boring to the point where I have gone far out of my way to post this.

    Your dick is small and your anus is extremely loose from sodomising yourself with your fist every night. It took you years to get your fist up your ass. You started with your fingers then worked your way up. Congratulations. You can now accept triple penetration from elephants.

    Please kill your family before you kill yourself, the world doesnt need your genes from your family to spread more ugly fucks like you.

    It does not matter if you post this, that is not my point of typing this out. My goal is that you read this and swallow something to large to pass down to your stomach so that it gets stuck in your throat and you cry alone becuase you know you are going to die. Amen - GoKillYourself 6:66

    May you rot in hell Amen.

    By Anonymous Sodomy, at 5:00 AM  

  • "genetic inclination to kill" wow, what an anti-White, anti-European website this is. As if Whites are the only ones with urges to kill, or do battle. All people have these urges. This trash was written by an anti-white racist. What utter bullshit. If I were truly a racist like the author of this site, i could bring out all sorts of statistics on other races' murder rates. I'd name a few, but, I don't think it's necessary. To sum up, the author of this site is a European hating racist, and needs to be taken as seriously as the KKK. Thank you, and, to the author, fuck you:)

    By Blogger Kevin Cole, at 2:46 AM  

  • If you want to commit suicide don't talk about it. Place the gun in the mouth with any bullet and pull the trigger. Quit whining on this site. Do It!

    By Blogger airlift123, at 4:44 PM  

  • Westley is a dickhead. There is no god--asshole. Find your own way. For some people this is an outstanding way to end their own misery and often that of others--Westley, asshole, ever heard of evolution--shithead some of us mutate for the good of others--beats sending money to some fucked up tv preacher.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:43 PM  

  • My best friend shot herself two weeks ago. She'd attempted it before but recovered. Now she is gone. Her friends and family (me included) have run the gamut of feelings. Shock - disbelief - gut wrenching sadness - depression - numbness - disbelief again - and now, honestly - contempt at the degree of selfishness she displayed and the harm she imposed on those close to her. I'm dealing with it well enough but some of her family (especially the young) are not doing as well. Real nice.

    If you are 90 years old and in physical pain or you are dying of AIDS or a similar disease - OK - find a hospice. If you are harming innocents - OK - please take yourself out - that gene pool needs some chlorine.

    Anything else - (lost job, money, person, youth, passion) you are a selfish coward looking for an excuse. Period. Quit whining. Here is a news flash - many people have pain and heartache and loss - many would choose the sleep forever if they could.

    But they keep getting up after every knockdown - not for themselves - but because they understand that others are in pain too and if taking the cowards way out would only harm those around them - those who love them - they simply won't do it. No matter what they are going through. No way!

    They think about what suicide would do to those who care about them and the answer is hell no! They may also want to deny their naysayers the satisfaction of seeing them give up.

    It boils down to this - you either lift or you lean. You either help those who care about you or you harm them. Suicide hurts those close to you in terrible ways. Glad you are out of your pain - never mind what pain your act imposed upon those who really loved you.

    Everyone around you was busting their butt to help you and all they asked you to do was get up and make some effort. Noone expected perfection - noone even expected excellence - or even a vigorous effort - just a little tiny bit of effort would have been awesome. But eating a bullet was easier - and now you can impose the pain you were feeling on those who loved you.

    Note that suicide won't bother those who hurt you. It won't bother anyone who didn't like you - many will find it amusing. But it will tear those who really loved you apart. Such cowardice. Akin to the guy who gets chewed out by his boss, goes home, and takes it out on his wife and kids - or the bully at school who gets beat up by a bigger kid and then in turn beats up a smaller kid. Both are too cowardly to throw back at the person bullying them - so they bully someone else - someone who can't fight back.

    Suicide is the same thing - you are too chickenshit to throw back at the world - so you transfer your pain to those who love you - SELFISH COWARD!

    Oh - for the SELFISH COWARDS out there a .45 pistol, 12 or 20 gauge shotgun, or any hunting rifle- and by that I mean 30 cal and up - would get it done. Of course caliber isn't that important - Hitler (and his sister) both did it with the same piss-ant little Walther 32 - so you are in great company.

    Have fun transferring your pain to those who actually love you because you are too cowardly to throw back at the world. Oh - if you are that spineless - please have the decency not to do it in the house - take a long walk in the woods or something - or throw your gun in a ziplock and swim out to an island - little kids shouldn't walk into a back bedroom and find the body of someone they love.

    Say hi to Hitler - the leader of the selfish coward club. Or you could get off your ass and make an effort right where you are - it isn't rocket science - the choice is yours. Look at it this way - you'll be dead in 50 or 60 years anyway so what's the rush? Why not play a hand or two instead of throwing your chips in the trash.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:54 PM  

  • Thanks for the info. I definitely won't screw this up. I have thought about suicide as long as i can remember. I am 33...broke...girlfriendless...jobless...owe lots of taxes bills etc. and am miserable all the time. It is mainly my fault that I am in this situation...being super lazy...unmotivated and weak but I just don't want to fight on...I don't care...its too much work. But i also suffer from serious depression. I have days where my brain is a constant feedback loop of negative self-hating thoughts. "I hate myself I hate myself...I want to die...I am worth nothing...I am pathetic", over and over and over again. I have lost a lot of weight and do not take care of myself. Yesterday I slept for 24 hrs straight. If I can sleep I will...it is by far the best part of my life. I did have a lot of potential. I'm good looking and very intelligent (believe it or not) but I am weak and a quitter. I have told my family many times that I want to kill myself and every time all i get is a guilt trip. "How could u do that to us. How could u be so selfish", etc etc. Its funny to bc people here who have lost someone to suicide all say the same thing. Did u ever stop to consider the pain someone must be feeling to want to put a gun to their head and pull the trigger? Or to hang themselves? Do u have any clue what it feels like to passionately want to kill yourself? To be in such misery that you fantasize about it? Only to not be able to bring yourself to it...bc...oh yeah...your family would be upset. No...none of you people in that boat know what its like so stop pretending to. You're dictating what isn't an acceptable solutions to a person who has a problem you've never had...therefore you're not qualified. If you want to try to help them...then LISTEN to them and stop thinking u know what the hell u are talking about. It IS their life whether u like it or not.
    I told my mom the other day that I am seriously messed up and need help...possibly even put in an institution. She just said I wasn't...lol! Never underestimate the power of denial. And that certainly wasn't my first cry for help but it will be my last. My parents have the money to help but just don't want to deal w me. I am done hanging on for them in anyway. They don't realize how much better it will be not having to deal w me. Not having to listen to me depressed all the time or to help me financially. They are going to love it. Continued...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:00 AM  

  • I will say the one thing that has kept me from killing myself already is my cats. I have two cats and they are the ONLY things in my life that love me unconditionally. Granted they may be just cats...and the means they have to show and give love may different than humans...but in many cases it is much more pure. And I worry about who would take care of them if anyone...and how they could possibly understand. People that don't have compassion for animals won't understand this but people that do will. I mean...my one cat was homeless for his first two years in a bad part of town. His sister was killed in front of him by wild dogs and he hid for days. He was literally shaking when i found him. I fed him everyday for a few months before he started to let me pet him a little. Few months after that I started to be able to hold him. Now he is extremely affectionate but only towards me. I am literally the only person in the world that he will let pick him up or pet him...literally. He simply doesn't trust anyone but me. If i killed myself he would probably sit here forever until I came back...and the thought of that breaks my heart. Animals or not...unconditional love is all but a pipe-dream in this world. However...being broke as I am I can't give them the home they deserve. So maybe they will get that when I kill myself.

    Anyways...I realize now I just wrote down lots of crap that no one is going to want to hear—partially irrelevant to this article but I really don't have anyone else to vent to about this. And I guess maybe I want some part of my story to be told...even if it is just on some random blog.

    Thanks for the info again...I am on my waiting list to get my gun...notes are written...destiny soon realized.

    "A san diego man was found dead today by an apparent suicide....he was 33 years old..."

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:01 AM  

  • For the love of god DO NOT POINT THE GUN UP IN YOUR MOUTH!! the pallet is a very strong bone; even with a high caliber round you run the risk of not hitting the brain due to lack of penetration or ,more than likely, ricochet. This is even more true if you use a hollow point. Hollow points are designed to cause a greater trauma cavity ( bullet hole for the morons out there) in soft tissue at the sacrifice of penetration power. Ask the dude we call "bulletproof", who is still very much alive and missing most of his upper teeth because he tried exactly what this article suggests. Who ever wrote it doesn't know the first thing about physics or firearms. You want to commit suicide, dive head-first off something a minimum of 200 ft tall onto rock or pavement. MUST be head- first all the way so A: you have less drag and don't hit terminal velocity B: all force is concentrated on the upper spine/ cranial on impact. Don't have the stones to do that, DON'T ATTEMPT SUICIDE!!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:10 AM  

  • You people are fucking crazy.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:21 AM  

  • . im only 16 and im already sick of life. god so fucking cruel . i got close with my dad then he died when i was 12 from serocious of the liver and i was completly devistated. then i started to get close with my grandpah and he died around the same time as my dad from bladder cancer.seeing what my grandmah went threw i thought i dont have it as bad as other but i was wrong my mom or sister wouldent listen and help me so i grew up with a mother who never helped me with my problems and a sister who CONSTANTLY put me down . im on 2 different types of anti-depressants(celexa and another i cant remember the name of ) and blood pressure pills to help with my sleep amnesia . i can never sleep for more then 3 hours . my liver is almost destroyed from all the anti-depressants and pills i take . to people who say its selfish ur wrong . try and walk in my shoes for one day and see the torment and riducule i go threw every single fucking day and i grentee you would understand were im coming from .

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:39 PM  

  • I came to this site this morning to learn the correct method. I already plan to use a 12 gauge with magnum 00 buckshot. I've read all the posts on this page, and started to rethink. I have every reason mentioned on this site, and more. But some of your posts have got me thinking: transferring my pain to the ones who love me, while the ones who have caused me this pain would be amused. Being a fighter, why not rob drug dealers, use the money for my own or other's good, take on the evil, murderous cops, etc. If the result is my death, well wasn't that my original intention? Also, maybe my pain and frustration WILL pass, if I get away from my family who hates me, etc.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:31 AM  

  • Plan to use two .45's one on each side of my head should get the job done, don't care about the mess, I don't have to clean it up. Let the jackyls fighting over the material things I leave behind worry about it.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:47 PM  

  • I would like to do it strapped with a bomb. Yes that would be mor effective for seevarl reason.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:42 AM  

  • i aswell am considering taking my life. I'm 21 years old, a professional tattoo artist, on my way to becoming a professional fine artist and illustrator, i have a loving supportive family, loving friends and i assume a loving girlfriend. I have all the opportunities in the world but nothing makes this feeling go away. I wake up next to my lover and i feel empty, every tattoo or piece of art i make feels empty and lifeless, i'm sick of pretending. Day in and day out i force a smile, jokes, sarcasm and wit, some days its too much of a chore to be awake and act...pretend, so i take benadryll and just sleep my life away. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of feeling, i'm tired of seeing, i'm tired of everything; i'm ungrateful and uninspired and just sick of myself. I'm sick of the sinking feeling in my heart and chest, the negative thoughts, the lies i tell EVERY SINGLE DAY just to cover my tracks, to keep everyone happy and unaware of this horrible depression. To ANYONE who is trying to keep someone from taking their life because of depression, you have NO IDEA what this feeling is like...you have no right to tell me or anyone else that "it'll get better" or i just "need to talk to the right person" about it or find something that makes me happy. NOTHING makes me happy, you don't think i've fucking tried? I do exactly what i want to do day after day and i don't even come close to content, maybe this is what will make me happy, or at-least silence everything around me. Going to go hit up the gun range January first. I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.
    -Skywalker

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:59 PM  

  • I grew up thinking that if I was a moral man and worked as hard as I could I would be able to provide a decent life for myself and my family. Now I know that's bullshit. I have done things to the best of my abilities and I treat people with the UT-most respect. Where has it gotten me? No where. I've struggled my whole entire life. From living on the streets with my family to a mother that would try to kill herself on a weekly basis. Maybe I should have let her. maybe I shouldn't have taken her pills. She knew back then what is ohhhh so clear to me now. Nothing you do matters. Life is a endless pit of sorrow and I'm done with it.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:08 PM  

  • Ongoing pain from what was probably a screwed up dental procedure. Doctors have no idea what's wrong, they are just giving me a run around and guessing based on their own knowledge, not what my actual symptoms are! I cannot take this pain any longer! How do I get the gun necessary for this? I have never owned or used a firearm in the past, but need to have that ultimate way out if things continue to deteriorate.

    By Anonymous All The Way Up, at 1:31 PM  

  • Guys, i was dead for a few min and i can tell you it was the best experience in my life. Its very beautiful feelings. I've heard a such wonderful music, i did not want to came back, it was soo enjoable and i want back at that state. I saw the tunnel in a blue light and my deceased relatives on another end, i was moving toward them and hear that angelic music...i want back.

    By Blogger yes, at 10:51 PM  

  • Guys, i was dead for a few min and i can tell you it was the best experience in my life. Its very beautiful feelings. I've heard a such wonderful music, i did not want to came back, it was soo enjoable and i want back at that state. I saw the tunnel in a blue light and my deceased relatives on another end, i was moving toward them and hear that angelic music...i want back.

    By Blogger yes, at 10:52 PM  

  • This has been very helpful. Thank you. Now, I can successfully take my life.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:26 AM  

  • My dad commited suicide Dec 23 while on the phone with my cousin. He was lonely and depressed and felt no one cared for him but he was wrong in his thinking. My cousin tried to talk him out of it but he couldnt. Dad pulled the trigger 4 times and my cousin heard clicks, dad told him saftey was on, then my cousin begging him not too. Bang, My loving Dads life is over at age 55. You cant be in your right mind to do this and i knkow he wasnt. Just ask for help if your that depressed please. If i had known my dad was that depressed I would have left everything to get him some help. Now Im a son without a dad and have 2 girls without a papaw. Please dont do this to your loved ones, they will hurt 10 times the pain you feel when your thinking of pulling that trigger. I LOVE YOU DADDY.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:29 AM  

  • america will mostly perish anyhow. Pull the trigger or die like a cow...who cares.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:22 AM  

  • I took paxil for over 10yrs.. it has destroyed my life. I am unable to feel happiness,, pleasure, joy, peace........it has been almost 2 yrs off the drug and i am still unable to sleep. It has left me with a severe sleep disorder. I have lost so much. I took it for anxiety as it was prescribed by a p-doc who lied and said it was a mild harmless drug. Now i have severe clinical depression and umrelenting anxiety. Thanks for that. My health ison a steady decline. I want to die to escape this horrendous pain but i dont want to hurt those that love me, especially my mother and girlfiend.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:51 PM  

  • I took paxil for over 10yrs.. it has destroyed my life. I am unable to feel happiness,, pleasure, joy, peace........it has been almost 2 yrs off the drug and i am still unable to sleep. It has left me with a severe sleep disorder. I have lost so much. I took it for anxiety as it was prescribed by a p-doc who lied and said it was a mild harmless drug. Now i have severe clinical depression and umrelenting anxiety. Thanks for that. My health ison a steady decline. I want to die to escape this horrendous pain but i dont want to hurt those that love me, especially my mother and girlfiend.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:05 PM  

  • I too am thinking of killing myself. I have had Anhedonia for 4 years, I have not felt positive emotion or pleasure for 4 years and I feel dead already so why stay here. And to all of you saying it is selfish, think of your loved ones, well some of us don't have loved ones and it's really selfish of you to expect others to stay when they are so lonely and in such pain. I also have severly low 5-HIAA it is the serotonin metabolite and it causes extreme painful shyness and severe insomnia. I mean at least before I could get a nights sleep. It also makes one incredibly impulsive and a quick fiery temper...I just lost my last relationship today because I made a decision too quick. When your brain chemicals are screwed up, you can't even control your own thoughts and it makes you miserable beyond belief. What kind of a world is it to live in where you can't even control your own thoughts????????????????????????? No thanks, I don't think so.

    By Blogger mendigaloca, at 7:08 PM  

  • Please email me at deadinside9 @ hotmail if you have the means but don't want to go alone. I am serious. Thank you. It is feb 2012 as I write this. Thanks.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:24 PM  

  • Looking for someone to talk about death with...feb 2012 (why can't this stupid site date te comments??)

    Deadinside9 at hotmail

    Or

    Deadinside99 at gmail

    Thank you

    I am from new York.

    By Blogger jb, at 7:16 PM  

  • forgot to check follow up box

    By Blogger jb, at 7:16 PM  

  • I'm 48, and having a serious mid life crisis. I have never been married, no children, and am just "drifting" through life wondering why the hell I'm here. I realize I'm at a cross roads, and I am considering 2 options: beginning a new career, or ending it all. I saw a quote by Friedrich Nietzsche, "He who has a Why to live for can bear almost any How.". My Why is missing. . . I believe we are spirit souls anchored to flesh and blood bodies, and that when the two are separated, the spirit returns to a place where it is unbound by the damaged thought processes of our physical brains. What happens after that is anybody's guess. My story is the typical one. . . no sense of self esteem due to childhood trauma. I believe that is where happiness starts . . with the ability to love yourself. Without that love, you're just drifting. You're defeated without that. I'm giving up on trying to learn to love myself. A career change MIGHT help, somewhat, but I don't know. I'm tired of hating myself, and that's about it. Where is the Complete and Unabridged Manual of Being A Human Being, and on what page does it say "DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE! LIVE WITH YOUR EMPTINESS AND BE HAPPY DOING IT!" (Please, bible thumpers, don't say it's in the bible.) Anyhow, that's my story. I am healthy, able to work, well liked by people I allow myself to associate with, doing ok financially, but on the inside something is not right. No matter how I try to convince myself everything is just fine, there is a hollowness in my heart that I just can't get a handle on filling. What's the point on continuing to live if living is just existing? It's a shame the optimists can't spend a day, week, month inside the minds of people like me. We're not supposed to be "selfish", we're supposed to keep on keeping on, but how do you do it if you just don't give a hoot? Wow, that was like therapy. I may go to bed tonight happy.

    By Anonymous chip4166, at 11:38 PM  

  • I am an army veteran deployed in 2009-2010. Before i returned from afghanistan, my family moved across the country. I came back "home" to no one.. since then i have been unemployed though looking for work near every day, but somehow no one seems interested. I could never believe that the country that i fought soo hard for could treat me this way. Its already killing me, why not finish it. I have exausted all of my resources, getting kicked out of my friends parents house for my inability to pay rent, owe 2,000+ in taxes, have injuries from my years in service. I cant take this any longer its time to end the anguish and free myself. I have seen and caused death, i know the repricusions if my attempt goes wrong, but at this time its all i can think about.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:18 AM  

  • Same here, got myself a 12 gauge pump action, I think that should do the trick. When I look at myself, I see someone that the world could do without, a burden to society and others. Even though there will be pain for others in the aftermath, it can not amount to the pain I feel now, Goodbye everyone.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:12 PM  

  • I honestly cant believe this site exists..My wife suffered from migraines and depression i have taken care of her for years and until recently everything seemed fine.Jan 5th 2012 she swiped my 9mm and left,I will make a long story short i found her the next morning dead.At that moment i died inside an then had to go tell my 12 yr old daughter what had happened.I read some comments like its my life i can do what i want yea,you are right but you don"t have the right to cause your loved ones this much emotional pain.Suicide hurts more than just your family it spreads to friends and co-workers its like domino affect.The pain from all the regrets and why didnt i do this or why didnt i say that, well u don't even wana know what its like to be survivor of a love one commiting suicide.Now i will carry the burden of what i saw the rest of my life,i don't care what you are going through or how bad you think it is this is not the answere.Every 40 seconds a person commits suicide and whole families are destroyed over it,please there is another part to life we don't always see its called living and loving.Go to you tube and listen to rascal flats song why and watch the video and i ask think of the pain you cause all those people you know and love.Some say they dont wana burden there loved ones then OMG please don't do it cause suicide is the greatest emotional pain that a human being can endure..This i know from the nightmares the PTSD syndrome ive been diagnosed with and the constant agony of why and i miss you.... GOD does love you and no matter where you are or how depressed you are remember what the bible says (THIS TO SHALL PASS) look up and know that god will never leave or forsake you.It may not feel like he there with you but he is and when u P.U.S.H ON = pray until something happens... he will comfort you and show you that you do mean something even when the devil has told you its to late . GOD said no and he will save you.. thank you for reading and just think of your family and friends and co-workers.

    By Anonymous damon, at 2:51 AM  

  • Good advice, if only I lived in a country where you could get a gun legally. I'd add doing it in a remote place so that even if you fail to do it properly you'll bleed to death before they find you. I'd also be nice to maybe enjoy one last sundown with a glass of your favourite beverage, remeniscing on the good experiences you had knowing the memory of the bad ones and the current pain will soon be over. Obviously I don't know whether there's something after death (from a rational standpoint I doubt it) but I don't think putting an end to one's own life is an evil unless it's accompanied by actions or ill will directed at others. If there is a god who's merciful as most religions claim then surely he'll accept your solution with loving kindness or in case it really is a sin excuse you on the grounds of human weakness.

    I will never dispute anyone's right to put an end to their own life (except maybe for parents who have little children who depend on them) and I'm sure those who do it must have a good reason but I'd suggest that since you have nothing to lose you might aswell try whatever you wanted to do but thought impossible to achieve since at that point you have nothing to lose anymore. To me it's liberating to know that life will end one day and that if necessary I can put an end to it myself, I do wish we'd all live in a world where no-one had to die by suicide but unfortunately evil and bad luck are facts of life and we clearly didn't choose our own fates and personalities.

    To all who read this and seriously consider this: I feel the same thing you do, I hope you don't have to do this but I'll understand it if you must (for what it's worth). The best of luck to you, either way.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:24 AM  

  • I too am planning my exit. I have a .38 special and hollow point bullets. I prefer not to have to have my family identify me by looking at a blow away head. My thinking is a direct shot to the chest (heart/lung area) and of course I would do this out in the wilderness behind my home so that even if I miss hear/lung, the hollow point should certainly inflict enough damage that I would bleed out quickly. Does anyone think there is actually a probability that I would survive this plan vs. a shot to the head?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:58 PM  

  • I was a Christian. I had overcome so much. Addictions, sexual abuse, family vendettas, spouse cheating and more. I even survived my own attempted suicide. I thought maybe I could change, maybe I could be a better person. I believed God had a greater plan for me.I believed again that my children needed me. I got help, I quit my addictions, my husband came home, I am working again... This this weekend happened. I allowed myself to get so obliviously drunk that I cant remember everything. I know most because my husband had me on camera. My two children were home and sleeping. I had a friend over. By the time she got here I was drunk but she had liquor so i kept drinking. As some point I invited my neighbor (male) over. My husbands says I made out with them both. I remember some stuff but most I don't. He heard me moaning and smacking sounds and the male neighbor make a sound like he was 'getting-off'. The male wont speak to my husband but the devastating moment will happen. My friend doesnt remember much but says she recalls bits and pieces of she and I doing stuff. She says she didnt remember seing me do anything with this guy but... My husband heard these sounds and he is hurting, bad. I have fialed my God. I have forsaken My Lord an d my sins are unforgivable because I was a christian who allowed the alcohol. These young children deserve a mother that they can look up to. That clearly isn't me. My husband can only remarry without sin if I am dead. I am destined for hell not anyways. Death now is better for my family than for me to continue to screw up their lives. My going to Hell now saves them.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:56 AM  

  • Its very, very tempting to commmit suicide for many different reasons - #1 is no matter how hard I try to work and maintain and pay the bills I can never get ahead and never have enough to keep my car fixed and do all that is needed, like going to a dentist. I haven't seen a dentist in 5 years because I'm simply too poor no matter how much I work, like I just had to spend 800$ on car repairs that would have been better spent on a crown - yeah everyone has to pay for stuff but it gets to the point where you know you're never going to get ahead and stop living week to week, hand to mouth - no family, no boyfriend it sucks to keep trying with guys and get used and lied to when I'm a really nice girl. I'm over this whole life experience here on this earth and I want out. But I am afraid of the penalty in the afterlife.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:58 PM  

  • I understand exactly what you are saying. My cats truly are the only reason I am still around. I just bought a gun today and am on the 3 day wait. I do worry who will take care of my babies when I am gone.

    By Blogger Harkana, at 10:58 PM  

  • The only reason I haven't done it yet is because I'm a fucking pussy. I'm too worried about the people I'll leave. Too worried that I'll fuck it up and be a vegetable for the next 50 years. Too worried they'll lock me away and my great secret will be out. I'm bonafide crazy. Legit nuts. I can't be happy. If I am it always ends with this. Snot and tears mixing in a sweet and salty mess down my face. Me begging the universe to kill me. Me realizing that all the people in the world who promised they'd stay...left. That everyone who said they'd help...didn't. And that I am, and will forever be, alone.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:19 AM  

  • If you believe in the big bang theory, that everything in this universe was at one time a single entity, then you also are part of this entity. I am not talking about god but about what everything is made of. Energy can be turned into matter and matter can be turned into energy. We are a mix of energy and matter. Our human form came from the big bang, plus about 14 billion years of mixing and matching. With that premise in mind know that in every mammal and plant on this planet there is a compound that is labeled DMT. I just finished watching a documentary about a DMT study done during the years of 1990-1995. DMT is a naturally occuring psychadelic that affects the pineal gland in the oldest part of our brains. The experiments was about giving volunteers, most of whom were highly educated from many walks of life, concentrated forms of DMT. The concentrated form helped them to trip longer than was possible from a normal amount that is in our brains and to experience fully what would happen. Their description of what went on was an extended version of what others described in another documentary as a near death experience, except the volunteers went even farther past the tunnel and white light and seeing all of their loved ones. They described being out among the universe, part of the universe and disembodied. They also described the elation and beauty of being part of everything. When they came down they descibed having a lifetime of experience in 15 minutes. Why am I writing this? I think our dreams come from DMT, near death experience comes from DMT and other other out of body experiences, such as religious experiences, also are a product of DMT. I think DMT is a survival mechanism of our brains. Created to let us "see" that there is life after death, therefore we should try harder to stay alive and raise our young so they will meet us in this afterlife. That we will have meaning of why we are here. Gods say to be fruitful and multiply and worship us because you will go to heaven when you "pass". In my opinion your matter/energy mix will change completely into energy in one form or another such as food for other creatures and plants. It is comforting to me to know that I will become one again with the universe that bore me and turn into the form that is necessary for the universe. To be part of the universe without conscience, to exist with everything else.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:40 PM  

  • I have it all planned out. I've been out of work for 14 months now. No friends, No family, Just lost out on getting the job I've dreamed about since I was a toddler.

    The plan is simple. I know a great spot to hike up to a mountain. It is about 5 miles in.

    Sit on a comfortable rock and take round 1. 10 Vicodin with Vodka. Once I'm feeling no pain I inject myself with 2 vials of Insulin. Then flip off the world. Put my .357 mag in my mouth and say goodbye.

    Even if I don't instantly kill myself, getting to me with any medical help at night, up a mountain before I pass would be virtually impossible.

    I've put a LOT of thought into this.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:59 AM  

  • All of you people telling your "Oh, poor me" stories, starting off with your age and then listing off every way the universe or God has "wronged you" or "forgotten about you," are the true cowards. You are scared. You are crying out for help. And you -- most definitely -- are on the WRONG site. Go to a suicide prevention site and get the help and ATTENTION you crave.

    Hell, one guy is contemplating painting the walls with his brain matter and blood, but he's worried about shitting himself? Come on, man -- you're dead! Who gives a crap what it looks like? Smells like? Sounds like? You won't. Why? Because you're dead.

    To the guy with the plan to hike five miles into the woods, inject himself with insulin and THEN pull the trigger -- my hat's off to you, man. That is thinking it through and having a fool-proof backup plan. It's a guaranteed death. It's admirable.

    The rest of you people who are looking for sympathy and pity, need to call 9-1-1 and obtain your 15 seconds of "Don't do it! We want to help you!" because that's what you're looking for, and you know it.

    Suicide is not selfish. It's the opposite. It's taking yourself out -- on your own terms -- and not having to be bailed out or helped out or a burden on anyone else. Suicide eliminates the problems we instill on others.

    Suicide is not weak, nor is it for the weaklings. You've got to have some real guts to pull that trigger. And let's face it...all of these people that "love" you will go on with their lives, whether you're around or not. That's a fact.

    Oh, and that guy or girl who broke your heart and left you? Well, he or she hasn't wasted a second of their day thinking about you since they split. And no, they're not going to give you a second thought or shed one tear once they hear you're dead either. Sorry. The fact is, they're already over you and have moved on with their life. Your death isn't going to "get back" at them or hurt them in the slightest. If anything, they'll breathe a sigh of relief that they dodged the bullet -- pun intended-- of being saddled with a loser like you. It's brutal honesty, but it's the truth. The good news is that suicide is a guaranteed cure for heartache.

    Guns are cheap. Go get one, take care of whatever you feel needs to be put in order, write a legible note and then just do it.

    If you can't think of what to write, I've found that two choice words are the most poetic and effective. Take your pick. "I'm sorry," or, "Fuck you," will definitely get your point across.

    Recap: Large caliber weapon, upside down in the mouth, pointed at brain stem, with you actually pulling the trigger,will work every single time.

    -Abandoned & dead by the time you read this

    By Blogger ivyness, at 6:26 PM  

  • There are so many self-righteous people who tell you not to commit suicide because of the pain you will leave behind and that it is selfish in itself. How selfish is it of you to not consider how much pain that person may have been in? "God" was created by man thousands of years ago to create order in society. Life has been on this planet for millions of years and it didn't begin in 7 days. I can respect those who use religion as a way to give purpose and meaning to life they don't understand, but some people are have actually studied religion's history and know better. Some people know the history of monotheism which Christianity is based upon and know that when we die, we don't go anywhere but into the ground to be recycled for the resources of other life forms in our earth system. To assume to know another's pain and preach about God is both ignorant and arrogant. Ultimately, that person chose to be at peace. At if some people would try to understand that you can never truly know who a person is or what their struggles are, maybe then they won't be so focused on the pain they feel because of their attachment to that person and can feel good knowing that the person is now at peace!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:32 AM  

  • I'm sorry many fake Christians hurl insults for being depressed or thinking of suicide. I have never been in the position that many of you seem to be in so I won't try and make some long-winded heartfelt speech acting like I know your pain to try to change your minds or convert you. So the way I see it, I can only do a couple things. Firstly, I'll be praying for you all. Praying that you find the strength to stand tall and turn your lives around for the better, even though you tell yourselves it's completely 'hopeless'. And secondly, I'll listen. Frankly, I don't have the answers to everything so I won't pretend like I do, but if you want to send something to someone who won't start preaching at you, davismkmail@yahoo.com I'll be listening.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:11 PM  

  • Can some1 tell me is the good way to make suicide with a gun If some1 shoot from back (center,back,head)?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:04 PM  

  • Are you still alive?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:47 AM  

  • It's just a matter of time....

    April 5th, 2012

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:47 PM  

  • I am in the us navy and after 5 long years i am getting kicked out because i dont network and don't make the navy look good enough.
    This is america the best country in the world yet they are laying off their people left and right like the rest of the country is doing.


    I will be separated soon and i will have no maketable skills and wont be able to go to college because i wont be able to find a job to help me pay for my living expenses. I am in debt and i have never been laid because i am borderline ugly and i have a extreme intraverted personality.


    I have just lost the will to live.
    I am just sick and tired of doing this bullshit everyday. To make it worse i work around very stuck up over paid civillian fucks who look at the military like they are mindless bodies.


    I have been a reject in high school.
    My parents favored my sister alot more than me they never helped me get a license.

    I joined the navy only to be everyone's one to bitch at and take advantage of.

    I expect it only to get worse. I am in debt now because the navy pays it's subjects barley anything to get bye.

    I have noticed that the US is slowley falling apart. They are trying to keep people in apartments and take away their civil rights.
    They are forcing people to spend more on gas and to buy used peice of shit cars.

    I have had it. If this is the only world we got .. I want none more. My life is pathetic as it is. I am so tired. So so tired. I dont want to go on anymore. Fuck life .

    I have a 9MM. Can i kill myself with that? If i get hollow points will it work? I have been wanting to die so very long but the navy has kept me going a bit longer but i wont have that because the navy keeps idiots but in the private sector its alot harder and i am a slow learner and may be classified as a moron...
    I am done. Please help. I can't live anymore. I want to make a suicide video post it on facebook and film it somewhere beatiful..

    Good bye. I will kill myself . That is a goddamn promise. ..

    By Anonymous dan, at 10:45 PM  

  • dan again.. just wanted to let people know that i plan on getting intoxicated and putting a rope around my neck and making it tight so when i kill myself i will fall and the rope will get tighter and if i do survive the bullet i wont have enough brainpower to get out of the rope and it will suffocate me and make it a higher success rate. Just wanted to let people know. If you get really retarded on alchohol then leave that out maybe just have a small drink . It would help numb the pain if you survive the gun blast.

    By Anonymous dan, at 10:51 PM  

  • I don't know who the fuck Steve Sailor is but I sure am glad I found this site. Suicide is one of the most bad-ass acts of civil disobedience anyone can ever undertake. It's also one of the most romantic in my opinion. So many of our most creative geniuses -- poets, artists, actors, musicians... -- have taken their own lives in direct defiance of both the demons that haunted them and their unappreciative critics along with the rigors of traditional society.

    I myself am "hell-bent" on committing suicide and don't give two sh!ts about the holy book that ought to be recycled into toilet paper. My life is no one's property but my own; it is not the government's, the community's, or that of family/friends/antisocial media and certainly not the big phony nothing in the sky.

    I have suffered from bipolar disorder and PTSD for practically all my life, having grown up in a chaotic, abusive environment and facing constant rejection from others, not only third-parties in the outside world but even my own flesh and blood.

    I am female, childfree and voluntarily single, so I don't have any spouse or children to bother with. But I still suffer every day from the effects of what I endured, and know I always will. I have never been employed and collect a worthless pittance of a welfare disability check. I live at home with still the same pathologically insane family members who were horrible to me while growing up, because I have nowhere else to go but to rat-infested public housing or the dreaded insane asylums. When my relatives are deceased (and they are all in their sixties or beyond), I will have no one but the taxpayers and the government to "care" for me; say for instance I get cancer or Alzheimer's or some other dreadful illness, I would be condemned further to the Dickensian misery of the public health system. Which would likely include the psychiatric authorities, and an indefinite stint in some horrendous madhouse where I'd be subject to the threat (and probably the act) of involuntary sedation, restraint, and sexual abuse. Not a good ending for anyone to endure.

    Needless to say, before any of that happens I want to get while the getting is good. As I still live at home I cannot easily procure a shotgun, but I have begun looking into VSED as well as a more feasible means to an end. For those about to preach, I salute you with a three-barreled shooter. But for those about to pull the trigger... I'll be happy to join you all on the highway to hell. \m/

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:54 AM  

  • My only reason for thinking about suicide is that I am tired of living. What is the point of life? I am tired of facing the disgusting human race everyday from going to grocery store to driving to work to going to the Dr. etc. All of it. I am just tired. There is nothing enjoyable in life as it involves dealing with someone or something. Death is a nice option to have as it frees you to whatever is after this crappy life. I love thinking about suicide as it feels so nice to think that I dont have to be here anymore. The more I think the more clear that I am not going to live a long, natural life as that seems so fucking boring. Watching yourself grow old and get weak. Rude people everywhere you go wanting to take your money, your job, your freedom. I am tired. I dont give a fuck about family and what they think so that burden is not one I have to concern myself with. The more I write the more it makes sense. Therapy? right...those miserable fucks hate their jobs more than most. I was going to go to a therapist who works out at my gym but one day I heard her say the best part of her day was when her appointments dont show and she doesnt have to listen to their problems. At that point I knew I would never go to a therapist.
    I just think the world is over-rated and most people are just as miserable but try to cover it up by buying things they dont need or wasting money to travel or eat their way into an early grave. I just dont see the point.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:45 AM  

  • They should have thought about that before they abandoned us. There's no other option when you can't feel anymore

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:50 PM  

  • I have to agree with all the people on here who want to end it. One day, it is going to end anyway without your own doing. I would rather control my end....

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:33 PM  

  • April 21th, 2012

    "I have to agree with all the people on here who want to end it. One day, it is going to end anyway without your own doing. I would rather control my end...."

    yes I also want control my end. fuck off do-gooders
    and other idiots saying; god loves you.
    suicide is basic human right !!!

    By Blogger Unknown, at 1:40 PM  

  • I'm not a male, but I have my husband's 22 and was just wondering how I could do it without making a mistake. He has larger calibre weapons, but I don't know where the bullets are. Maybe I'll have to buy them.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:04 PM  

  • YO REPRENDO CADA DEMONIO QUE ESTE SARANDIANDO A CADA UNO DE USTEDES!!! Y AL QUE HIZO ESTA PAGINA!!!

    IF THE ONE WHO MADE THIS BLOG, AND SHARED THIS INFO BELIEVED SO MUCH IN SUICIDE, HE WOULD BE DEAD ASWELL.... LISTEN, WHETHER YOU WANNA BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THIS IS ALL JUST HOAX....................... TO GET YOU TO QUIT..............


    YOU WERE ALL APPOINTED, CALLED AND DESTINED FOR SO MUCH MOREEEE!!!!!!!!! LISTEN TO ME...

    ADD ME ON FACEBOOK
    https://www.facebook.com/julietaderomeo

    or email me at

    mlizbid@yahoo.com

    IDC!!!
    BUT DONT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!

    PLEASE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    NOT NOW!!!!

    YOU WILL GET TO BE THAT PERSON THAT YOU WERE PREDESTINED FOr!!!

    YOU KEEP LOOKING AT THE STORM AND dont acknowledge how the storm doesnt last LONG!!!!!!!!!!

    YOU NEED TO SPEAK TO THOSE CLOUDS AND PROCLAIM RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    OF BLESSINGS, AND A WHOLE NEW START!!! AND BEGINNING!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    By Blogger Marliz Crespo, at 7:07 AM  

  • Entirely too much caps lock, man. And way to much fluffy "spitiritual" bullshit as well.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:30 PM  

  • I am going to do it with a .357 magnum in my mouth upside down pointed at a 45 degree angle. I had a great job and the most amazing, wonderful, incredible woman in the whole world. I loved her more than words can possibly express. I truly loved her and still do. I earned the right to be a partner at my firm, but was fired (I believe race was a factor). My girlfriend did not stick around. Rather, she constantly berated me and left me, saying she wanted to be free to find someone else. I am running out of money, I am all alone and I cannot deal with the fact that the love of my life just ditched me like garbage. I can choosing to exit this world. Clearly, I should never have been born. It is like God derives some sick, twisted pleasure from dangling wonderful carrots in front of my face, then yanking them away. Thanks.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:40 AM  

  • your story words break my heart. You have brought my suicidal mind reasons to live. May you be healed and continue to be comforted.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:01 AM  

  • @ the last anonymous -
    Whose story, dear!? and AMEN!!!!!!!!

    By Blogger Marliz Crespo, at 7:45 PM  

  • Im sorry. I know you don't understand this. I don't either. Thats ok, you don't have to. Im not going to ask you not to cry or be sad. But don't let it eat at you. You could only prevent the inevitable for so long. The truth is that this has cost me more than I am prepared to lose and as such, having nothing left and feeling as if I am nothing.. I can no longer live this lie. To my family- I love you. Please don't hate me. To all those that I have hurt- I regret this the most, If, in some way this atones for that, so be it. To those that love me- I have tried so hard, in more ways then you will ever know. I have tried to change, or to be someone else, someone that those of you in my life could be proud of, to be proud to call me friend, or lover or husband. Always have I failed. To fail at life means to die, to fail at living means suffering through it alone, and that I am affraid I do not have the will to do. I wish things could have been different, but for all of you who truely knew me, you knew that eventually, after he died, it was just a matter of time. And to you, don't blame yourself. Live your life. You have the freedom you've always wanted! When you were a child and closed your eyes.. the person that you dreampt of yourself becoming... THAT is the person I see in you, smart and funny and loving and successful. You are beautiful in every sence. Your a shining light for those that know you. A pillar of strength for those that need you and a goddess for those in love with you. Strip the lies from your life and you WILL see the truth in what Im saying. Beleive in yourself as I do.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:27 PM  

  • 30 yrs old male here who has had his heart broken one too many times. I'm tired of being told by my exes and other female friends what a great guy I am. If that's the case, why do my relationships never work out and I'm left feeling alone and fucking abandoned? It doesn't help that I have financial problems either, and despite going back to school for a computer science degree, I feel like I may be doomed to a life of wage slavery. I have the skills and knowledge, but no one wants to give me even an entry-level job because I lack experience. I have tried to play by this capitalist, materialistic society's rules and I want out. I have lived half my life with clinical depression, and it just seems like even if I do attain some measure of success in this world, my diseased brain won't let me be happy. BTW, I completely relate to the analogy of carrots being dangled in front of you, only to be sadistically yanked away. That's my life in a nutshell...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:22 PM  

  • I have been reading everyone's comments and I too am at the end of my rope. I feel sympathy for everyone else contemplating suicide too. The what if's in life just aren't cutting it for me anymore. I'm only 24 years old, have a college degree I can't do anything with, haven't been able to find work of any kind, live with a mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive alcoholic father, a piece of shit mother, and a bitch of a sister, I'm completely alone. I sometimes think life would be a little better if I just had someone I could love.

    My friend has a .44 magnum along with the hollow points everyone keeps stressing.


    I wish everyone else who posted here and myself could all live together in a hippie commune, we wouldn't be lonely, and we wouldn't really need money, just live off the land. For those who haven't went through with it, I hope you found something worth living for and that you're happy. For the ones that went through with it, I hope you guys traveled well, along with anyone else planning on it in the future. I shall see you on the other side.

    Time to tear down my wall.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:01 AM  

  • Just when u give up, u will realize, right around a.corner was a breakthrough... It amazes me, seeing beggars and.homeless people still livinq... They realize life is.not.meant to b lived easy or.perfect... It's meant to be.fought ...learned from... And realize that the time.of storm isn't to cry over the grey rolling clouds... Yet to stand.up.. point to them and proclaim rain... Look at ur situation and see.em as rolling grey clouds... Who have.hidden, overflowing flood.of blessings just.on its way... U give up now, and ull never get to see ur.sunshine!!! ...... DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!

    By Blogger Marliz Crespo, at 2:26 PM  

  • @Cain Velasquez

    just fuck off you stupid do-gooder.

    By Blogger Unknown, at 3:12 PM  

  • Back-and-forth attacks are going to cease.

    By Blogger sailerfraud, at 6:13 PM  

  • Is a 38 caliber bullet big enough to be successful, and how exactly to aim the gun in mouth to hit brain?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:15 PM  

  • how do i aim at brain stem, where is it, do i aim upwards into soft palate at back? i don;t want it to just go through back of neck. is aiming into back of hard palate to far forward?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:26 PM  

  • Someone said, God loves you. He has a funny way of showing it.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:42 AM  

  • I am 45 , at the height of my career, with a Master and PhD. I just believe it is better to leave in a blaze of glory than wait to become an old fart afraid of Death. Memories of past (and better, simpler) better times are already haunting me. Mankind was not designed by God (or whoever did this to Earth) to live past their 30s... Looking for a way out. It takes courage to live long... and prosper .. but most times it is merely impossible. Death is a blessing either way. I am so sorry. I will plan it well. DO NOT FOLLOW ME. Make your own mind. But we have the RIGHT to live or die.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:17 AM  

  • Please be strong I'm thinking of killing myself but i think of my kids and that is what keeps me from not killing myself. But when i think of my wife with the guy she left me for theres nothing more that i would like do than kill myself and blame it all on her so she can feel what she did to me. But then i think about my kids.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:23 PM  

  • I have read most of the comments on this blog and they sadden me. Each and every one of you listen to me and listen to me good! There is a God; He is revealed in the Bible (not the Koran or any other false religious book that has been inspired by Satan). As a matter of fact, this blog is satanically inspired. Just look at all the problems that are discussed here. Why do you think there are so many horrendous problems? I am glad you asked. We all are sinful, fallen creatures under the curse passed on to us by the ancestors of all humanity: Adam and Eve. When they sinned against God; they passed death to every single human being that has ever lived on this planet (Genesis 3:1-24). Because of man's sin, God sent His Son Jesus Christ to bear humanity’s sins on the cross so that we might have eternal life and not go to hell. And yes, don't be deceived, just like there is a God, there is a heaven and a hell: “For God so loved the world, that He sent His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish; but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).
    Also, all of you who keep bringing up evolution on this blog: please stop it! It is obvious that although you may believe in evolution, you don’t know enough about it as a hypothesis (it is not even a theory; because a theory has to have well-substantiated, unifying explanations for a set of verified, proven hypotheses. Evolution is only a hypothesis because it consists of a “reasoned” proposal predicting a possible causal correlation for the origins of life; but the hypothesis has never and can never be proven), to discuss it with any logical consistency. Example: someone talked about the “Big Bang,” and that there was a little piece of energy from which everything emanated. That is total nonsense: you still have the problem of unaccounted for energy. God is the uncaused cause of all there is: this is the ONLY logical explanation for the existence of anything. Science really has no logical explanations for the origin of the Universe. Science can only explain the phenomena that exist in the Universe.


    The United States is pitifully materialistic. I have been on missions to Africa and the people there have little or nothing. If you have a bicycle to get around on, you are doing well. Our worst conditions here would be like living in luxury to them. The average yearly salary in Kenya is $350.00. But the people love God with all of their hearts and I guarantee you their suicide rate is almost nonexistent. We are consumed so much with greed in the U.S. that we have become unbelievably self-consumed.

    TURN YOUR LIFE OVER TO CHRIST! He will give you all that you could ever need or want: eternal life, when He says this one is over. We all have an appointment with death (Hebrews 9:27); but it is not up to us when that appointment takes place. Please, your life is not your own. It belongs to God.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:49 PM  

  • Just biding my time. Contract almost up...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:02 AM  

  • Only thing that is keeping me from going to sleep is my mom. I can't do that to her. It would hurt her too much. For awhile it was 19 month old boy. I love him so much. But then I think how my other boys talk to me and it will only be a matter of time before the youngest feels the same way. Wife? I'd be doing her a huge favor. I don't talk enough, not a good dad, screams at me for trying to help with house work.drank too much in her eyes. Just about had it. I don't think ur supposed to be screamed at by the one who loves u. Mom-I wanted to be out of this world since I was 7 hrs old. The plastic bag from comforter from the sears didn't do the trick.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:26 PM  

  • thank you.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:06 PM  

  • im a 51 year old male. about a month and a half ago i came home early from work because i was injured on the job. i didnt walk in on anything but i realized things just didnt seem right at home. so i kept asking my wife over and over again if she was cheating. after denying it a few times she told me the truth and admitted it. she had been cheating while was working at night trying to buildwhat i thought was our family dream. she immediatelly told me that she did it because she wanted to leave me. i ask her why didnt she just leave because she knows how i feel about infidelity as far as marriage is concerned. she continuosly insisted that she wanted to leave but she never did. finally i did a background investigation on her boyfriend or partner to be and found out he was already married.i told her and she refused to believe it. finally i told her who his wife was but she refused to call and verify it. i had old her that this was not good for our 3 kids because it had already torn our house apart. finally she called and told him it was over in front of me.but still i cant get past the fact that she was ready to give her family up for a fast talking guy she only knew for 2 months. now shes trying to convince me that she wants to work things out but after 20 years it just hurt so much. even after she knew everything she cried and said she loved this guy. and that just hurt more. i found oout that after reconsiling she was still in contact with the guy even though she had denied it. every time she touches me or i touch her all i can imagine is the 2 of them together. ive become a mental wreck with thoughts of hurting my family just to get revenge by making her the sole survivor. i love my kids and know this is wrong so im writing this as a way to say goodbye. im going to end all my pain tonight. i havent healed physically because of my mental state of mind. i bought a gun so i can die alone and leave her to be happy without me. i feel like a burden to everyone and i no longer love myself. i never thought this would be me but here i am. i know that its true yuou can love someone and give them your heart. all i can say is dont do it. i love my wife more than i do myself. so here i am trying to ease the pain of being stabbed in the back by the only person in this world that could help me. i cant stop the noise so its time for peace. so now i seek it through the barrel of a gun.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:50 PM  

  • This is really sad. I lost a brother and a best friend to suicide. In fairness to both of them, they'd both been through some tough times. But so have many other people. It isn't what happens to you - it is what you do about it.

    Also, in fairness, the world didn't stop spinning in either case. It was just that they left their friends to clean up their respective messes once they were gone. The ironically, they hurt the people who loved them and their enemies probably found the whole thing laughable over drinks.

    I've been down before. I'm not feeling great now. But I'll be damned if I'd ever give my naysayers and enemies the satisfaction of seeing me quit. Nor would I ever do anything to deliberately hurt those I love - even if we are talking pets - if someone or something is counting on me, I'll be there.

    If you really want to kill yourself, get a .45 with some good hollow point ammo. If you can't do that, a plain old deer rifle or 12 gauge will do the job just fine - but I'd have to say you're a wuss.

    If you're going down, at least have the common decency to help your friends. At a minimum, don't do it indoors take a "walk in the woods" and spare everyone the mess.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:58 PM  

  • Man... Hearing all these people contemplate on suicide, I've been to the dark side but probably not as deep as you, but 2 BILLION people don't have either food,shelter, or even water. People fight for their lives just to be in your shoes, to be able to be free, to be able to say whatever is on your mind, freedom.
    Always consider twice, it is your life and I respect that but I always know someone has it worse then me, and probably 99.9% is the same way.
    Much Love

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:59 AM  

  • -ivyness

    Completely agreed. It's a shame you're gone bro. Such a sensible thought process is too rare.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:37 AM  

  • 36yo guy here, Ive recently been having suicidal thoughts after being in a sexless relationship for the past 6 years with my partner of 15 years.

    My job also sucks. Only real good thing I have in my life is my 1 year old daugther and some close friends.

    Tried to hang myself last week, but couldnt get the rope and height sorted quick enough, by then the desire waned and I broke down in tears and went inside.

    Started "practising" getting used to having a gun in my mouth, first unloaded, then loaded by no chambered round. Working my upto chambered round.

    Dont think I can do it, not even sure if I want to now, but the thought is always there and its all I can think about.

    So confused and cant talk to anyone for fear of them thinking im crazy, or their opinion of me changing.

    Mabey things will just sort themselves out. Looking forward to daughter calling me daddy helps.

    Sucks to be in a sexless relationship with someone you love.

    By Anonymous 36yo guy, at 11:11 PM  

  • I think i am going to shoot myself in the head while driving (obviously under influence)a car highspeed....might make it look like an accident in a third world country.
    My only fear is if in afterlife i got stuck in the real world with real feelings....that would suck even worse.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:24 PM  

  • Thanks for the information. I am still debating how to end my life. I just don't want my son to find me but I will leave him a not.I have been unemployed for over two years. My job was outsourced overseas and now the unemployment is gone. I have applied for over a hundred jobs so far this year. The ex took me to court to stop alimony and social security is not enough to live on. So I will lose the house and be like a lot of other people in this country. I liked working and miss working but can't seem to get a job. Very depressing. Other people have control. So eventually I will have the final control.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:49 PM  

  • I am a selfish piece of shit coward. I place the gun into my mouth pull the trigger then I am out.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:57 PM  

  • Sounds too familiar. I just turned 28, my car blew a rod and cost like $5000 to put a new engine, after the car, I lost my job, needed a vehicle to travel to the field work. I owe over $6000 to the state of Texas for no insurance, and numerous driving with a suspended licence surcharges. Aside from that, kinda lost my health, I woke up half paralyzed, turns out I have multiple sclerosis, diagnosed. I'm not paying TX a dime. My advise to you is leave your state and start fresh, state fines don't follow you out of state. I too got a 9mm from a friend. Not quite there yet though

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:31 PM  

  • People stress too much on the courts. Truth is the courts are overpopulated and intimidate you so you can pay fines and court costs. I have 2 dwi and I blew a 0.0 on my second one, still charged me cause I had cough syrup in the car. You won't do time. legally, you'll be fine. I have MS and smoke pot everyday, it helps. But you'll be fine legally. Should take a huge burden off your back

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:39 PM  

  • I lost everything too, job car health freedom. I recommend getting a cool traveling job like oil rigs and door to door alarms or cable. It's a good way to work and save money without needing a place to live, as they provide housing and transportation.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:45 PM  

  • Don't believe in god, and life goes on. I'm just trying to get life insurance before I do this. Sorry for your loss, but I can't afford to pay for my family, and my death will.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:17 AM  

  • i have a mossberg 715t. its a .22 ...if i shoot myself the correct way will that be enough? i also have hollow points which are federal and they are 36 grain.

    By Anonymous derick, at 12:07 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by the author.

    By Blogger John Bates, at 11:50 PM  

  • ALRIGHT LISTEN UP PEOPLE,

    IF YOUR CONSIDERING SUICIDE I HAVE A PLAN, I AM THINKING OF SUICIDE MYSELF, I AM A ARMY VETERAN 30 WHITE MALE,

    I AM LOOKING FOR OTHERS WHO ARE JUST FUCKING FEED UP WITH THIS GOVERMENT, THE SYSTEM, THE MACHINE, IF YOUR AT THE END AND ARE READY TO GIVE IN, I GOT A PLAN

    I AM LOOKING FOR FEMALES AND MALES WHO CAN STILL MOVE AROUND , DECENT PHYSICAL SHAPE, I CAN USE ALL YOUR SKILLS AND TALENTS, NO KIDS PERIOD, MUST BE OVER 17,

    IF YOUR TIRED OF TALKING ABOUT IT AND JUST WANT TI GET AWAY, YOU DON'T WANNA GO TO JAIL, YOU DON'T WANNA STRUGGLE TO EARN MONEY AND STILL BE POOR , OR JUST DON'T WANNA BE PART OF THIS BULLSHIT AMERICAN MONEY HUNGRY SYSTEM, EMAIL ME

    JESSEBABSON1@YAHOO.COM

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:07 AM  

  • Thanks for the information. I am probably going to follow through with this on 12/26/12 with a 32 semi-automatic 5 chamber right revolving pistol.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:49 PM  

  • LISTEN TO ME PEOPLE. I DO FEEL LIKE DOING ALL THIS TOO. .BUT DONT!!

    BECAUSE YOU MAY HAVE TO COME BACK HERE AGAIN, AND REPEAT YOUR LIVES.! NOW YOU DONT WANNA DO THAT, RIGHT? SO THE BEST THING TO DO IS, STAY IN THIS MESSED UP WORLD!! AND LIVE IT OUT. I HAVE BEEN ON THE OTHER SIDE!.AND I HAD TO COME BACK HERE.! TO THIS HORRIBLE WORLD

    LISTEN TO ME! OK? IF YOU DIE RIGHT NOW. .YOU WILL HAVE TO REPEAT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AGAIN. BY COMING BACK HERE BEING BORN AGAIN! GO THROUGH THE AGES 2 ,7, 9! ETC AND THEN BLOWING YOUR BRAINS OUT AGAIN!. . YOU MUST HANG ON IN THIS LIFE.

    https://www.facebook.com/scar.jay.7

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:46 AM  

  • ..LET ME ADD TO THAT. LIVE YOUR LIFE NORMAL. AND THEN YOU CAN GO TO ANOTHER PLANET ,MUCH BETTER THAN THIS. .BUT IN THE MEANTIME. YOU CANNOT ,NO WAY. KILL YOURSELF. IF YOU DO. .YOU WILL HAVE TO COME BACK HERE AGAIN. .NOW IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? YOU BETTER THINK ABOUT IT.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:42 PM  

  • Your post makes me want to kill myself. I feel hated. I don't like Rush Limbaugh and I have no "genetic inclination" to kill, even though I'm a white male. I just found your blog while looking for a good way to do it. I just feel more miserable and hated than I did before I found your blog. Just telling you so on my way out.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:19 PM  

  • 22 is prolly 50/50 depending on if u us a rifle or hand gun an we're you place your shot if you us a rifle in the mouth pointing to the top back of the skull it may get the job done or just land you as a vegetable a hand gun witha 22cal bullet however might be more successful with a shot placed through the mouth also pointing to the top back of the skull or to the temple the reason for it being more successful is due to decreased bullet volociity witch will allow the built a clear entry wound but no exit wound thus trapping the bullet inside your skull leaving it to ricocheted around inside your brain until it lost momentum an came to a stop.using a rifle however is opposite because longer barrel increases bullet volociity thus increasing the probability of an exit wound thus not slowing the built down enough to cause the ricochetd affect for maximum damage. But like I said its pretty much 50/50 with a 22calmag an 22cal hollow point. On an other note a 22cal hollow is prolly not a good one to use because it might not even penetrate the skull an brake into fragments prematurely higher cal hollow point bullets don't have this problem due to increased bullet grain. An on another note if the author of this article new anything about guns he wouldn't have written a how to on high cal suicides because 40 45 38 an yes even 9 s with a shot placed anywhere above the ear will get the job done an in most cases leave an exit wound regardless Of bullet type being mag or hollow the size of a grown mans fist when fired at close range. Matter o fact the author should go out an buy his own gun an follow his directions an blow his fucken brains out in my opinion. Not to say am against suicide or anything seeing how I myself have also tryed multiple times when I was younger to no avail lol but knw tht I own several guns of my own if theirs a next time I'll get it right. From personal experience though if you get it wrong the first time you might give livin an other go at least until you feel you can't handle it anymore thn I guess it ok to try again. But being legally dead 4 times an thn being brought back I don't remember the fairy tail tht is death an that's not to say their is nothing in the end when it's all said an done ill I can say is I don't remember the tunnel of white light or the pit of burning fire as far as I can tell I was just no more an thn I was again. But still I will maintain my faith tht their is either something good or bad tht await us all when it's all over. I wish peace to all the pain in everyones life an luck in their endevers be it life or death

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:30 PM  

  • Yup

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:34 PM  

  • I am in constant pain. I have been sick with a number of different issues since 1998 and cannot take it anymore. I just stay in bed everyday. I am addicted to meds that I now have to get from a friend because the "doctors" no longer want to treat my pain. I tried pills and ended up in the hospital. I tried sitting in my car but nothing happened so I guess a gun is my only option but I know nothing about guns. I have a credit card so I think I can buy a gun but don't know if I have the guts to do it. What type of gun and bullets should I buy?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:16 AM  

  • Thank you for the information. I want to do this correctly.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:39 PM  

  • Alright, their is a simple cheap no pain and quick way to die. using Helium. (what you use to blow up balloons with) I will do this ONLY when I cannot support my body when I get old, or when I am in big time trouble with the world, etc ,I put this here because a gun is hard to get and totally insane possible to kill yourself with to pull off. I would like people top do peacefully...here is a link

    Alright, their is a simple cheap no pain and quick way to die. using Helium. (what you use to blow up balloons with) I will do this ONLY when I cannot support my body when I get old, or when I am in big time trouble with the world, etc ,I put this here because a gun is hard to get and totally insane possible to kill yourself with to pull off. .here is a link

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWfWl-xJnnY

    -


    https://www.facebook.com/scar.jay.7

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:56 AM  

  • WHERE is everyone getting the hollow point bullets they keep mentioning? Those kind of bullets are illegal for citizens to purchase in the state I live in.

    I would go anywhere to purchase hollow points -- just need to know a place.sia

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:48 PM  

  • I am just debating where I want to kill myself. Who wouldn't really be shocked to find my body? Any ideas?
    I am a 34 year old woman. I don't think my self esteem will recover from abusive history. The world is overpopulated anyway.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:11 PM  

  • DO NOT KILL YOURSELF. Life is suffering. Once you accept that it makes things a whole lot easier. At the present moment I am withdrawing from klonopin and it is fing hell. I have been in two near death experiences. High speed car accidents. The truth is that God decides when it is your time to go. You may attempt suicide and mess up and have to life the rest of your life as a cripple. I personally would love to fall asleep and never wake up. I'm 31 years old and I have never had a girlfriend. I've just banged lots of chicks. I believe in an afterlife but we all no that no one is certain what happens when you die. But you are gambling with the afterlife. Even if you succeed with your suicide, you might end up in hell. Just what Satan wants. Satan wants you to believe that there is no God or that God doesn't care. God does care but you have to take one step towards him and he will take to steps toward you. I won't go into details about how horrible my life has been but when I look back it is all because of bad decisions. To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning to the suffering is a quote by DMX who is a crack addict. Suicide is a cowards way out. If you are at rock bottom, use that gun and go rob a bank. If the cops chase you, get into a shootout with them and it will be much less cowardly way to die. Don't be a pussy ass coward and kill yourself. I know about internal pain. I've been committed to mental hospitals 4 times for my bipolar disorder. Life is short and you are going to die anyways. I was a drug addict for 15 yrs and I'm not anymore. Drs told me bipolar is incurable. Its bullshit. I cured my bipolar by getting closer to God. When you stop believing in God or thinking he doesn't care is when Satan gets a hold of you. Anyways, if you are at rock bottom. Go rob a bank with a gun. You'll either get rich or die. Just make sure you have enough ammo.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:30 AM  

  • Very interesting I was just looking for a more effective way of eliminating a person, be it a hollow point, or a shot gun shell, if one of you succeeds in egging on someone in this forum to acctually kill someone does that mean you got away with murder, and if a person agrees to be eaten is it illigal

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:02 AM  

  • I'm only 13, but have been thinking of suicide for a while. No friends, can't tell if my family actually cares. I think I'll find my dads gun and end my pain soon. Thanks for the tip!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:09 PM  

  • I'm so excited! After a bit of a delay, I finally took possession of a .357 hangdgun, with which I intend to commit suicide at some point in the next 2-3 years, if not sooner!! I posted on this site about 5 or 6 months ago, and am growing increasingly more anti social and withdrawn. All I see around me is bull shit, hypocrisy, and the stupidity of the human condition, and it sickens me. I also am just plain sick and tired of hating myself, which is the main reason I am planning this. A simple pull of the trigger with the gun in my mouth, aimed upwards towards my brain, and its good night, fuck you all, kiss my ass. What happens next is of little import to me. Giving serious thought to doing something like getting incredibly drunk and standing in front of a train coming out of a curve at high speed and then pulling the trigger a split second prior to impact, or standing at the edge of a really tall cliff/mountain, leaning back slightly, and then pulling the trigger. That way, a secondary impact by train or impact with the distant ground will be sure to do the trick in case the gun fails or something else really random. I hold the gun every night, loaded with the safety off, admiring it, seeing in it my deliverance and an end to this stupidity of life that is "humanity." Like I said, I've hated myself for as long as I can remember, and am fucking sick of trying to change it. You are who you are who you are, and no matter how much self help you cram down your own throat, you still are who you are. We don't change. You either love yourself or hate yourself, and it never changes. When I go, what's the big deal gonna be? Nothing will stop, nothing will change, noone will care. I'm gonna do it far away from everywhere, and gonna dispose of all my worldly possesions first, so there's no mess to clean up other than my rotting flesh if someone chooses to do so. Fuck my family, fuck you if you're reading this thinking "No , no don't do it, there's so much to live for, please reconsider, Jesus loves you. . . ". Blah blah blah. I love my gun. I'm so glad I have it. I feel that now I can begin making my plans. It's such a great and liberating feeling!!! GET YOUR GUN!!!!!! :)

    By Anonymous Chipper, at 8:09 PM  

  • All of you are seriously, clinically insane, and you're encouraging each other. If you've happened to scroll down here to the bottom of the page, please, PLEASE don't read anymore. There is someone, somewhere, that will care if you die. If there are people in your life that hate you, that's all the more reason to NOT KILL YOURSELF. If you die, that'd make them happy. Fuck them. They can fuck off and die, because you're going to survive. This world is big and terrible and wonderful at the same time. Find something... ANYTHING to make it worth it, but whatever it is, IT'S OUT THERE. If you've ever seen Last House on the Left, there's a serial killer that manipulates his son into killing himself. That's this guy and most people in these comments are doing--manipulating YOU! Don't listen to them! Fight the urges, fuck everyone else, fuck everything in your life but KEEP ON LIVING. NOTHING will improve if you don't MAKE IT IMPROVE. There ARE people out there who care. I HAVE been suicidal, I DO understand that darkness, but YOU have to understand that its NOT THE TRUTH. Get professional help. They do care. I care. If no one else in your life cares, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT. Whatever you do, however you feel, STAY AWAY FROM GUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT COULD MAKE YOU MAKE A BAD DECISION. You might think it makes you free, but you're just pushing yourself down further. Please, please, please don't do it.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:36 AM  

  • YOUR ALL TALKING BULLSHIT NON OF YOU ARE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF S, GROW THE FUCK UP!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:28 PM  

  • The comments are getting out of bounds again. I am immediately censoring comments with excessive profanity, lewdness, slander, and stupidity.

    By Blogger sailerfraud, at 11:30 PM  

  • Three months ago my wife left the house at five in the morning as i slept off the alcohol from the night before. I woke up to find the kids in the living room watching spongebob.....look around for my wife and don't find her, go outside and her cars gone. Worry sets in. Call every place i can think of, hospital,sheriffs, etc. Nothing. Look in safe and pistols gone. Panic sets in......i load up the kids and go everywhere that i think she might possibly be. I find her at our old place of residence and absolutely lose it when i realize what she has done to herself.....remember that the kids are in the car so i go to them and back up the driveway to the road and get out the car( so our kids can't hear) and make the phone call nobody wants to make.......so please listen to me when i say that you will be missed. You might not believe that or more likely you won't care but it's true. Someone will hurt because of the choice you are contemplating if you follow through with it. No one can truly understand everything you are going through or how much you hurt, just like you can't understand what the other guys feeling 100% of the time, but if you honestly want to hurt the ones you love and that love you( and there is someone) then i suppose nothing will compare to your suicide. I won't ever say that it's a selfish thing to do because if there was one thing that my wife wasn't it was selfish. She cared too much about the world and the ones she loved and took it personal when she couldn't "fix" all the problems she saw.....she blamed herself for the problems that i brought home with me from our so called war on terror and feared the day i would leave her and the kids again....maybe for good. The doctors couldn't help and meds only made it worse. She kept her pain to herself because she didn't want to "burden" us....more proof she cared more for others than herself. She also made sure to pay all the bills (because she knew i dont have a clue) and do it away from our house and the kids. She didn't leave a note and chose not to mess up the car by shooting herself outside.....she went as far as even filling up the gas tank before. She wasn't in her right state of mind and instead of saddling others with her problems she decided to end it.....nothing in my life has come close to the kind of pain and guilt her final choice has left me with. If not for our children i would have followed my wife into whatever comes after this hurtful world is done with us all. But i can't do that to them.They were her life and now they are my lifeboat. So please make the chose to "burden" someone with your problems. And if you are the one that they chose to talk to please try to help and not make things worse. Life is short. Cherish and appreciate each other and do your best. BTW....too the person who posted the advice, i hope you realize you have blood on your hands. Not making a threat but if you walked through my front door it would be hard for me to keep it off my hands......if not for the fact that i already have enough to last this lifetime

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:19 PM  

  • I know right :|

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:34 AM  

  • For those who say suicide is selfish, I think that wanting someone to stay alive and endure agonizing suffering just so you can "have them around" is the definition of selfish.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:30 AM  

  • If going to make the "ultimate sacrafice", why not take out some scumbags with you? The election is right around the corner..instead of making your vote count, make your life count and do the world a favor and take either of them out. There will be some other dead bystanders but "it was their time" too. Blowing yourself up you can't screw up and won't feel pain.

    Nota Muslim and hate our society? You are the perfect choice and will "blend in" the crowd. Use a plastic explosive like a c4. Its hard to get and are alternatives. You must do some homework.

    Those Army and Navy section 8's are perfect candidates and have the "know how". First I will like to thank you for your service and am grateful but you get the shaft in the civilian world. The gov't pay is not going to cut it and you want payback! Just think all these illegals are getting more handouts and free rides. Don't take them out(they don't matter). Take out the big hitters....Lee Harvey Oswald was a MARINE!(full metal jacket quote)

    anyways, I am being a bit sarcastic, don't do this but maybe you had a laugh...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:48 AM  

  • To "anonymous" (posted 10:19 PM) whose wife killed herself:

    Once in a while I see or read something awful enough that it leaves me emotionally gut-punched for weeks; and in that sense, your story buried here at the tail-end of comments to a several years-old post on a rather strange random blog, ranks right up there with that Al-Qaeda beheading video I wish I'd never seen. I'm a father to three young children also, so your writing about grogging awake to the sounds of SpongeBob and Squidward blaring on the TV could just as well have been picturing any random Saturday morning in my own house. And from your description of your experience that morning, beginning with (I presume) irritation, progressing to concern and then dropping to pit-of-your-stomache dread as it became clear over the course of that awful morning that she would never be coming home again... Damn it, I'm a 34-year-old grown man who doesn't even get misty-eyed at funerals. The last time I openly wept, best I can recall, was well before puberty. But when I read about your poor kids, all alone that morning just being kids, watching some cartoons, waiting for Dad to get up and make breakfast and maybe wondering when their mother'd be back from the store or wherever like a normal day, but having no inkling that their little worlds had already been--I mean, their Mom--their **MOMMY** for chrissake!--ugh, such crushing, unrelenting sorrow and loneliness they must endure. :( I bawled and sobbed like a baby right here at my desk in the office. If I'm not careful it'll start up again now, I'm already getting wicked sore throat holding it back.

    If it matters one whit the impact your story had on some stranger in the Internet who you'll never meet, well, I doubt I'll ever stop being haunted by it. Not even mentioning the effects it's wreaked on you, it goes without saying, but as men of course we tend to derive comfort from our own stoicism. For what it's worth I'm pulling for your damaged family. If people can raise torpedoed ships up from the sea floor, if they can rebuild toppled skyscrapers, then you and your children can preserve and restore eachother. Frack it all. I'm so, so sorry this happened. Condolences and sincere thoughts for you.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:33 PM  

  • To anonymous (posted 7:33).....thank you for your condolences brother....and your right ,this is an old and random blog..lol. I'm not sure how i ended up here a couple of months ago but i read the comments all the way to the end and it really tore me up. I had to at least make an attempt to tell my story if not to help someone than at least to get it off my chest(at least for the time being). It's been 4 months since we lost her and i want you to know that the kids are doing pretty good. They are amazingly strong and adaptable, they really keep me going and we are slowly but surely raising our torpedoed ship up from the depths. I had to take a layoff from work for the kids sake and now I've decided to go to college (I'll be the old guy, I'm also 34) after the dreaded holidays are over. Thank you much for your reply and your thoughts ,they touched me dude...take care of you and yours the best you can and happy holidays from SC.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:32 PM  

  • I went out to the park to blow my head off with a .357 but then I realized a few things right before I did it, and stopped:

    -My whole existence was based on "me" and what I "get".
    -Losing the family and my first child to sudden death was a pretty damn good justification. It didn't occur to me that other people are going through the same thing, and maybe we can help each other.
    -I realized that "my feelings" were the most importan thing on earth. I realized that SOMETHING has to be more important than my "feelings" for life to be meaningful. My cat is more important than my feelings. Making a difference in the lives of others, providing comfort for the sick and lonely, rescuing animals in shelters and many, many other purposes and missions in life are more important than "my feelings."
    -ultimately I realized just priort to pulling the trigger that I was just self-centered, the whole universe revolved around "catering to me" and since it didn't, I would reject the whole thing.
    -I still feel the pain daily and want to die, even begging for death to occur at times. At those moments I just cry and remember a more important thing than my feelings, such as my cat and all the other children and animals I can go spend time with.
    -I do volunteer work now with animals and troubled people. I have realized that this Love CANNOT be taken away from me. I could live in a tent in the woods and find meaning and peace by doing any altruistic activity.
    -I also find that some very mysterious set of "good luck" coincidences follow me when I help others and focus on love. Whatever this is, I think this is what people refer to as God. Maybe when people say "God is Love" it means that love attracts good people and good breaks. It seems to be working for me. I don't believe in any traditional form of God but am sure now there is some mystic power we don't really understand. Don't forget, we once didnt' understand or believe in TV or radio. How the hell can you talk to someone on a cellphone? Can you really explain that?
    -I would suggest before you blow your head off, seek a support group and make friends with a real LIVE person who has been through what you have. This allowed me to have proof and daily guidance as to how to get through it.
    -and by the way, I have not "walked" through this, I have been carried by many people.
    -I believe I am just a suicidal as anyone on this planet, and having lost my first child, believe I have the best reason. But it still comes to the same point for me, something has be MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME AND MY FUCKING FEELINGS TO MAKE LIFE MEANINGFUL. Try reading Victor Frankl's "Man's search for meaning." His whole family was murdered and he lived in a concentration camp watching friends get killed by Nazis. Just read this book before you go.
    -I totally forgive you and you have my blessing if you want to off yourself. I know the pain. Maybe if you go to a support or 12 step group and find someone like me, who really needs you now.

    Lots of love and my sympathies,

    Big Al

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:56 PM  

  • You all are ridiculously pathetic. I was addicted to 4 of the most deadly drugs known to man at the same time. Ive almost died hundreds if not thousands of times, but am still here. You all are being brainwashed into this thought process. People like you make success nearly impossible for others NOT to achieve. I do feel a bit sorry for the medically castrated guy; but again, you are clearly a gullible, weak, susceptible individual. You didnt need any fucking medicine. You know that now. No one needs any of that shit seriously. It is created to kill you not help you. The only reason any person is alive today is because 100% of millions of their ancestors were survivors. But now we are just weak, bitching slaves.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:04 AM  

  • Ken: Wow. My wife just talked me out of it. I had it all ready to go and researched how to do it. She called this morning to check on me after our fight last night. I was ready to exit when she called. I'm shaking all over starting to come down. Now I feel my body's fear of being offed. It's like there are two of us. Me and my physical blood and flesh body. It's like holding a gun to your favorite pets head then feeling their reaction to not being killed.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:25 AM  

  • You know u go to hell by committing suicide right? Hell will be a million times worse, that's not a better place.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:23 PM  

  • He puts problems to test people's faith. If you give up on him then you'll be damned to hell, and hell, is worse than what it is now. There were times better than where you're at now, and there will be better times in the future. Find a good church, most have prayer and support groups. You will be more of a burden to the ones you love if you kill yourself than if you stay alive.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:41 PM  

  • Today is my birthday and what I finally thought I would have closure from a crime didn't happen. Tommorow is Christmas and again that has been taken from me.

    I just learned today some weasels son admitted what the truth was, didn't want the job. He didn't want to fight for now I feel that I was taken for a ride in belief that was nothing more than a joke. This man made big bucks and had jobs in such high and prime positions. Then he took a job circa 2002 and took the rhelm and fired many he called deadwood. Thus, he made enemies.

    I now know what it was all about, I lost 20 years to my life, i have been bashed horribly on many internet venues, I have viable information regarding the murder of a dead kid, but that kids death was and has become a mafia gig. A funeral director used his job as a front and has been running arms with a big time mayor.

    It never ends. A cop admitted alienating you opened up a big can of worms other people involved and that looks good your handicapped you can sue...!

    I have been without a living wage since 1995 and now on my birthday I am going to take my father's automatic and get the feel of how to use it and then I am going to blow my brains out.

    I am pro suicide. I do not belive anyone has the right to force life on others especially when life is so miserable. Those in power and position said such phrases to me like 'get em from behind' 'get that stuff off your voicemail' 'they're using you to get other people' 'roll with the punches' 'everybody to blame for this and more!

    I waited and waited but it has slipped away from me. I renewed my license in 2004 a week ago I had to renew my license, the next time it will be 2020. In 2004 there was hope, but now 2020 all I know will all be gone.

    A home was denied to me, a job, a car, a pension, emotional relief and more. On a site called Topix some locals have been equating me to Adam Lanza and riding me. The local cops and DA think it is all funny all those death threats in writing to me. They refuse to do anything.

    But when I saw the news Sunday was too much. I realized the writing on the wall and the isult that goes with it.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:06 AM  

  • I have been battling depression for many years. I am not a happy person and feel I am a loser. This is not a one day feeling and I now know I am ready to end my life. We all die. It just a Matter off when and how. I have lived 62 years and have nothing else to look forward to. Life is getting worse. I would rather die now and quick rather than live 5, 10, or 15 years and probably will suffer in dying. I have lived never harming anyone, and while making mistakes as does anyone, I was caring and would always help others. So if committing suicide I have to go to hell well I guess there is no choice. I know I am ready and today is my last one as living loser on this planet.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:43 PM  

  • Shut the fuck up everyone, some people just don't want to live life anymore. Its their brain mostof the time thtthat s the problem. Sometimes it is their life so don't judge them and don't try to make them stop. I'm pretty sure plenty of people have tried that already

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:20 PM  

  • If one wants to kill themselves they have the right, but no one has the right to hurt others for the hell of it.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:21 PM  

  • It's okay, life sucks - it really does.

    However, please, if you are pondering suicide and have people depending on you, PLEASE reflect on it a bit more. Do not ruin their lives because you don't want to live your own. That is selfish.

    If you have kids living with you who look up to you and love you, do not destroy their future by killing yourself. They NEED you. You should only kill yourself if you are useful to no one, like me. Please take some responsibility.

    I want to go out because no one depends on me for anything and I feel I'm too invisible for my own good. No one knows me, no one will miss me.

    I have the shittiest family I've ever seen. Everyone is dispersed, no one communicates with each other. My parents divorced 3 or 4 years ago (I don't even remember).

    My father is lonely as shit and my mother is a drugged mess who loves to make sure her sons don't live a normal life. She spends her days in bed calling us and telling us she's dying, even though she isn't.

    My older brother spends his days at bars and won't change even with all the support we try to give. His fiancée of 7 years left him. He's alone and makes no effort to improve.

    My middle brother is getting out of the country pretty soon, never to return.

    I can't bear this. It hurts me too much. I wanted a normal, united family. Now I'm living alone with a shitty job, working with shitty people who can't even write properly, studying with nerdy assholes who couldn't give a shit about anyone. My weekends are spent "helping" my insanely bipolar mom and playing games on my PC.

    I've been trying to make friends since moving to this stupid city, but I can't connect with anybody and people just seem to ignore me. I'm treated as the "weird" guy who likes to - guess what - write stories and read! What a weirdo, right? I am surrounded by stupid and discriminatory people.

    The only person I've ever managed to connect with lives on the other side of the globe. He was the only one to wish me a happy birthday.

    Yes, I am pretty lonely, and I am giving up. It doesn't matter, right? I have no kids, no parents, no brothers, no friends, no girlfriend, no nothing. Not even a fucking dog. I couldn't have a cockroach for a pet, as my apartment is too small.

    I remember being a happy person in my childhood, before all this shit hit the fan. I think I wast just too good at ignoring the shitty family I had. Now I'm just... tired. A shell. An useless crap. I can't take it anymore. I am going out sooner or later.

    I will leave a note, of course, as I like to write. It will be a hell of a note - I'll put all my writing skills into it.

    After that, boom. Goodbye and good riddance.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:09 PM  

  • Staying here because other people want you to stay is not a reason to stay.

    I'd never want my mentally ill, confused, depressed brother who has nothing in life to look forward to continue on living a miserable life because he thinks I'd be mad at him because I want to hang out with him. I'd rather see him go as I'm sure who feels the same about me.

    So stop saying someone who has a serious chemical imbalance (depression) wants to kill themself is selfish. Because we're not. Half of us are doing people favors by offing ourselfs.

    I just lost hope compeltely on top of some serious depression and I'm ready to check out. I don't have feelings for anything anymore. Not even for my two kids as I feel like if I live much longer and than somehow get hit by a car and die, I'll be remembered as the dad with so much talent who never lived to his full potenial to only get older, lose his car, job, and house.

    Now, While I'm on the verge of losing everything, I still have my life insurance that will keep my kids and brothers More than comfortable for a WHILE. And that's more than I will be able to give them if I stay, lose the insurnace and than die without giving them shit. Might as well go now while the gettin' is good right?

    My kids will know I did everything I could for them but could no longer carry on suffering from these fucked up feelings of being depressed and hopeless everyday I open my eyes.

    Already have my 9mm. Just need to order my hollow tips.

    Once I get bullets, I'll go off to a lake somewhere late at night when no one is out, walk a couple feet into the water, at least belly deep, put gun in mouth, put upward to back of brain, FIRE OFF!

    And if my luck sucks as fucking bad as I believe it does and I somehow survive the shot....I'll drown...That's about as fail-proof as It can get.

    Good luck everyone!

    By Anonymous Time has Expired, at 3:48 AM  

  • I've had suicide journals since I was 10 years old. Horrible things have happened to me in my life. The journals through the years piled up. I lived out my fantasy on paper daily and reflected on these writings. I had 12 journals filled before I had a day of reckoning and burned them in a self made rebirth ritual, but 10 years later I'm back there again and came to this place and these comments bring me back to where I was in a stark realization that that is where I am heading. It's like it has predetermined that this is the way I will go. My thought has always to go out deep in the forest in the darkest hour, bring my .45, a frail wooden chair, a 1/2" manila rope and some fuel. I would make a noose put the rope in the tree, stand on the chair, douse my self and the chair with fuel, light myself on fire and shoot myself through the throat upward toward the brain. If I didn't do it with the bullet the frail chair would burn quickly collapsing and successfully hanging myself so long as the rope didn't catch on fire. I'm not going to do it, but sometimes to lucidly visualize doing it and then imagine the entire aftermath of how someone would find me and then imagine the emotions anyone I ever had contact with would go through... it almost as if I did it.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:30 AM  

  • HEY YO MAN THANK YOU FOR THE CORRECT WAY TO END MY PATHETIC LIFE AS A LOSER DRUG ADDICT AND DRUNK, I AM CURRENTLY HOLDING A LOADED 380 WITH HOLLOW POINTS, NOW THANKS TO YOUR SITE I NOW KNOW THE CORRECT WAY TO END MY PATHETIC LOSER LIFE, THANK YOU SO MUCH, NOW AS FOR MY FAMILY, OHHHH THEY MIGHT BE VERY ANGRY, HOWEVER, I MYSELF CAN NOT WAIT TO PULL THE TRIGGER AND END ALL THE BULLSHIT I , AS A LOSER ADDICT BRING AMONG MY PATHETIC SELF, THANK YOU SOOOOOO VERY MUCH FOR THE CORRECT WAY TO END ALL OF MY LAME ASS PAIN!!! I HATE ME AND THE LOSER I HAVE BECOME, BUT NOW I I KNOW IN A FEW MINUTES IT WILL ALL BE OVER FOREVER, THANK YOU YOU ARE GREAT!!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:08 AM  

  • I am a 37 year old male.
    My job cut my pay in half and then laid me off.

    And I'm suicidal/schizoid anyway. People tell you to not kill yourself but you are going to die one day anyway from something. Why can't it be by your own hand?

    Better that and to keep dealing with the bullshit that life gives. It is not worth it for me and never has been.

    In a couple of weeks i'm spending my last money to get a shotgun and end it all.

    And that will be the end of that. Total peace and total rest.

    And for those of you talking about hold on and keep trying, go screw yourself.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:03 PM  

  • Ivyness had the best post here.
    Hats off to that individual wherever they are.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:29 PM  

  • Thank you. I am a teenager that has these thoughts.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:56 PM  

  • My name is Chris, ive been battling severe depression and anxiety for most of my life. Ive been in and out of mental hospitals for some time now, and i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder over a year ago. I am 40 years old and i had left my wife and her 4 children because of the stress and disrespect on the 1st of january 2013 to go back into the hospital. I had spent 3 weeks in the hospital trying to put the pieces together. Ive come to the conclusion that things will never change for me mentally. Im tired of the nightmares ,the medication, the lack of a support system. I may not have problems as bad as some other people on here, but nontheless, i do have an overwhelming desire to end my life. Im not saying its right or wrong, but i do believe i have a choice.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:37 PM  

  • Well I guess I'm no where near the only one.having these thoughts. I made one of my shot guns a sawed off for more of an ease of use and I think I might shoot myself point blank.in the heart with a 00 buck or a slug. Don't really want to do it in the head I at least want to give the respect to my loved ones of an open casket funeral so I am not completely mutilated... I deserve to suffer somewhat if I going to do it and a heart shot would obliterate my heart and would be over in minutes but it wouldn't be instant. Tried holding on just can't anymore and its time for me to go.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:56 AM  

  • How about 223/5.56 from AR15 or 7.62x54R from a Mosin Nagant? Just level at the forehead, would that be instant? Less important, but would it make a big hole or explode the head like a water melon? Need to make sure its instant and final.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:19 AM  

  • I am glad I visited here. Seeing all you people hurting so much makes me know that I have got past it...I think. Life is shit now. I got screwed pretty good, but maybe have hope again. IDK. I am so very sad, though, for all of you. Please hang on!! Give it one more day; or one more week. Or call one more person! Please!!

    By Blogger oakley, at 8:01 PM  

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